Catholic Online Forum

Hiya,

Alright, so first non-introductory post. I guess, I'm jumping right into trying to answer some questions. Or to settle some concerns I have at least.

I've been considering attending church again to show my devotion to God and I was wondering if, perhaps, I made a mistake when I left the Catholic church. There were many factors and I think there often are. Among them, I was frustrated at my own inability to have perfect intentions---odd as that sounds, I just felt a lot of guilt, like I was never doing things for the right reasons/it wasn't good enough.

Another thing, admittedly, was the hierarchical/power given to man aspect. I felt like a lot of emphasis was placed on people within the church and offices, where all of it should be placed on God. While I wasn't the poster child for rebellious teens, I did question the power/ability of someone to convey God's word to me. I realize many people reading this have probably been Catholics lifelong and please don't take offense. I'm not claiming I was right, I'm just listing questions that caused me some manner of second-guessing.

As I've gotten older and talked to more people, I've wondered if perhaps I haven't been looking for a "perfect church" where none can exist if churches are made up of men and meant to adore God, but not to stand in his place. I also do feel there is some validity to the statement that was made to me recently that those involved in the Church office have dedicated years of study to scripture. And I don't know if that should make or break anything.

I'm not sure if it is more correct to trust in someone to help me find my path or if it is more important to go it alone because that may be too close to 'worshiping' a false idol.

The concept of being wrong, honestly, just terrifies me.

Any thoughts? For years I've felt unable to talk about this with most people, so please forgive the novella-length format.

_________________
--Calista Jane

Calista,



A couple of thoughts. If you think about it, even protestant churches rely on the interpretation of a particular person or group of persons as far as explaining scripture. There are literally thousands of individual Protestant Christian churches that are lead by a Pastor and each Pastor has their own take on the scripture and own interpretation...even if they have studied under one particular school or thought or another they have still come to their own conclusions.

I have known people who were more centered on the personality and popularity of the Pastor of their Protestant church than the teachings of Christ. I know people who are told straight out by their pastors what they can and cannot do...so it exists all over the place.

There is a balance between someone helping you along your journey and worshiping a false idol. I had an appointment with my spiritual director today...he's been helping me along the way for several years now (Benedictine monk by the way) but despite the title, "director" there really isn't so much directing as guidance...it's never about him and how I feel about him and it's always about Christ with suggestions as to how to deepen my relationship with Him through prayer and the sacraments.

I seek the aid of this spiritual director because he has the learning and the experience of many years of contemplative living to advise me. Any deeply faithful Christian will point you towards Christ and recognize that God is working in you and they can only share their own experience.

It's a bit like going to the doctor. The doctor has the years of training and experience, and so I seek his expertise but it's about what he knows, not what I think of him as a person though obviously, respect on my part and discernment about the Doctor's qualifications are in there.

_________________
Valerie Garcia
vals1990@yahoo.com

"Listen, O my son, to the precepts of thy master, and incline the ear of thy heart, and cheerfully receive and faithfully execute the admonitions of thy loving Father, that by the toil of obedience thou mayest return to Him ....." St. Benedict

Val,

The analogy to a doctor is a good one. And those are good points. And not going to church at all, I had told myself I would do more to keep up with my faith. I just feel like 1) I haven't (which is my own fault) and 2) that going to church is, itself, a manner of showing devotion to God and doing what we're supposed to as Christians.

I also think I took a lot of things for granted being raised in the church. To me, there was always an emphasis on doing helping others and loving your neighbors. Some of the other groups I've looked into absolutely hold to that, but others seem much more focused on faith and the self. And in the end, it is all about God, I just believe that his laws have a significant impact on how we treat one another.

So, thank you.

_________________
--Calista Jane

Have you ever been on an airplane, and as you're getting ready to take off, they give you a lot of directions about what to do if various things happen?

For example, if the plane cabin depressurizes and everyone needs oxygen, there will be face masks that fall from the ceiling. The directions are very clear. Get your own face mask, and then look around to see if there's someone you can help. If you're passed out from lack of oxygen, you won't be able to help your neighbor and you'll both get sick. Maybe you'll both die.

Our Faith is like that. We need to concentrate on helping ourselves get on the right path to Heaven. Then we can help our neighbor do the same.

_________________
Rose West
"May God help us not to spoil His work" (Bl. Mother Theresa)

Rose,

That makes a lot of sense. It seems like one of those things we learn over and over growing up.

I think I'm just adjusting. It's sort of like those situations where everyone has input on how or what you should be doing, but you have this gut feeling. And you might be apprehensive about listening to it when you know that others might not understand why you're choosing THAT course of action.

The truth is, I think I know what I want to do. I trust my gut and this is something I just feel, deeper than in my core. I think I can also accept what Val pointed out about having someone guide you. And perhaps more importantly, I think I can accept that Faith is not based upon our fellow man--be they ordained ministers, family members, friends, etc. Whatever I may feel or question in regards to mankind is not the same as what I feel concerning God. Still, there is probably a very good reason I feel drawn to this particular path.
It's just coming to terms with the fact that I don't have to justify it to anyone else. At the same time, I still think I need to do more research and become more informed. Otherwise, I'm just being impatient. And rushing down the path blindly.

There are no perfect answers---at least that I'd likely be able to wrap my mind around. But, I think I might be able to be satisfied with this. Otherwise, I just feel like I'm letting my doubts paralyze me.

I have a lot to sort out, I guess.

This discussion hasn't been terribly long. I think I've just been looking for some affirmation. It's sort of like coming into something with your mind already made up. Sometimes, you're shocked to find it's changed. Sometimes, you come away feeling that much stronger about it.

This is a process I've been working through for years. Even without getting up the nerve to go to church more than a handful of times. I think coming to this forum has sort of marked an ending to a phase in the journey, even though I had kind of thought it marked a beginning. Which, honestly, is really cool.

_________________
--Calista Jane

Calista,

Perhaps you should look into RCIA programs in some local parishes. The first phase is "Inquiry", you're not committing to anything...you're just there to learn. People go through our entire program and decide that they're not ready...or we decide they're not ready. If you find a good program then it's a great place to not only learn the basics of the Catholic faith but to meet other people who have walked in your shoes and may very well be in a similar place as you even as they attend RCIA.

Wish you lived in my area ...we have a great program and because we are a large parish there are enough different sorts of people exploring the faith who, along with the varied team members (the majority went through RCIA themselves in the last few years) represent a pretty broad swath of people looking for something deeper in their lives.

_________________
Valerie Garcia
vals1990@yahoo.com

"Listen, O my son, to the precepts of thy master, and incline the ear of thy heart, and cheerfully receive and faithfully execute the admonitions of thy loving Father, that by the toil of obedience thou mayest return to Him ....." St. Benedict

Val, Rose,

It's possible that we have an RCIA locally, but I'm not sure. Are they typically structured in the form of classes or do they take some other kind of shape? I may ask about that when I attend Mass this weekend.

I'm actually really lucky, my family has offered to go with me. Apparently, we'd been thinking along similar lines--which, feels like a good sign and also makes me really happy. I want the best path for them too.

In the meantime--and this is not meant as a discussion ender, but warrants being said--thank you. I don't know what kind of response I was expecting. But, I appreciate the general friendly atmosphere.

_________________
--Calista Jane

Calista,



Programs can differ across the country as far as length of time and structure. We run from September to June and have a meeting on Tuesday evening 7-9. There are presentations from different speakers and sometimes opportunities to discuss things together. The Catechism and bible are given out towards the beginning but there are no textbooks or tests to take. Some parishes have a more class like atmosphere.

Beginning with Advent we gather together as a group and process in with the celebrant to reserved seats at 8:30 Mass. The group is then dismissed from Mass after the Liturgy of the word takes place and we then go to the parish center to "break open" the Word and discuss the readings and homily, etc...many love this part best because we meet in small groups with the team members facilitating and the discussions can get very intense and personal as people struggle towards greater understanding and healing.

Breaking open the Word and meeting for instruction is the ideal and the expectation. How that is structured may be different from place to place..some programs last two years.

_________________
Valerie Garcia
vals1990@yahoo.com

"Listen, O my son, to the precepts of thy master, and incline the ear of thy heart, and cheerfully receive and faithfully execute the admonitions of thy loving Father, that by the toil of obedience thou mayest return to Him ....." St. Benedict

Val,

As it turns out, we do have an RCIA program. We also have opportunities to meet for bible study outside of that. I don't know exactly how the first is set up, but they're holding an informational session soon, so I should be able to get some more answers then.

_________________
--Calista Jane

RCIA is different in different parishes. Pretty much everywhere, there's a class or discussion group once per week. Very small parishes might have occasional meetings with Father. Our parish doesn't send people out after the Homily, but some do.

_________________
Rose West
"May God help us not to spoil His work" (Bl. Mother Theresa)

Our's does

_________________
Bob C

Calista,
Guess what? I do not agree with everything that the Catholic Church tells me. Yet, I pray that in time, changes may yet occur or I may see and learn the truth of my folly. Does that make me anathema?

I am obedient and know that it although it may not be the "perfect" religion it is the best one for me. I do love the Catholic faith and am proud to be Catholic.
Wecome back and know that we may have misunderstandings which may be based on incorrect information yet we strive forward in good faith hoping that in time these misunderstandings may come to light and strengthen our faith. This site is really good at illuminating the truth about our misunderstandings. You're in a good neighborhood.

I look forward to seeing your input.

_________________
Pax et Bonum


Schultzz

Schultzzkopf,

Aww! Thank you.

I agree. There was a fantastic quote---I think in someone's signature, that stated the idea was to believe with the hope of gaining understanding through doing so...not the other way around. I think that is a pretty good summation.

I went to my old church for the first time in a long time. Through the first half, I was really nervous and afraid--if that makes any sense. But, by the end I left feeling so lighthearted, like something had changed or been illuminated. I don't know, but it was the absolute most peaceful feeling I've had in a very long time.

I think this feels like home. I'm even looking forward to going back this weekend. (Normally, I get really anxious and wind up stressing a good deal over whether or not I actually will. So this is a big difference for me.)

While I'm looking into the RCIA program, are there any good online resources for information on the doctrines of the church? I've only glanced around the parent-website here a bit, so I've very possibly just missed it. But, I was wondering if you or anyone else had any recommendations, I guess.

Thanks for the support and playing Q&A with me!

_________________
--Calista Jane

Maybe a good place to go to would be to search online for

[ "catechism of the catholic church" ]

or for

[ "compendium of the catechism of the catholic church" ]

The St. Charles Borromeo church web site will probably come at or near the top of the results in the first of these two searches. It's has good table of contents, index, and online search capability within the Catechism.

Not all Catholic web sites give orthodox doctrine. You often can get pretty reliable reviews of Catholic web sites. regarding fidelity to orthodoxy, by going to http://catholicculture.org See the search box(es) in the upper right part of that home page.

The autobiographies of saints and perennial classics such as "Imitation of Christ" and "Introduction to the Devout Life" are also good as sources of Catholic teaching "lived out".

_________________
David H.

Calista,

A good place to start is the Doctrine and Canon Law Library which contains topics such as

FAQs : What Do Catholics Believe and Some Basics of the Faith.

Happy reading!

_________________
Grace

As to the past, let us entrust it to God's mercy, the future to Divine Providence. Our task is to live holy the present moment. - Saint Gianna Molla

Get a copy of the latest Catholic Catechism, make notes on what you don't understand or what bothers you and then talk to a priest about them.

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BobA

I just wanted to drop in and offer a quick thank you. I realize my posting on this forum before...and currently, as it stands, has been far too confined to this thread. The intent is not to be selfish, but sometimes I'm not sure what to say when reading what others have posted. I suppose I just have lurker tendencies.

I've started with a local RCIA program. It's a wonderful group and I'm looking forward to seeing where things go from here. I don't think I would have even known to look for it if not for the many wonderful suggestions I received when I started posting here. So, I really felt that I should mention at least something about it. I think having a place to come and talk about Faith is very helpful for people who are trying to figure out how to come back.

Thanks

_________________
--Calista Jane

Glad to see you are still lurking, Calista. Godspeed on your participation in RCIA. I pray you find what God wants for you in that program.

_________________
Dean
Most people's sense of history goes back to breakfast time - Benjamin Netanyahu

RCIA is a great idea. My experience, however, was very disappointing. Maybe I had different expectations. I wanted insight into Catholic doctrine, not yet another tour of the church building. I bailed after the third class. Maybe I was impatient, but certainly not alone in my impatience. Out of a class of 13, only 2 completed the course.

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Andy H.
"Romanes eunt domus"