Catholic Online Forum

...a man with whom I had worked for a number of years back in the 90's was one of the homeless people we were hosting at our parish as part of a county rotating emergency shelter team. When I worked with him, he was married with 2 daughters and living in one of the more desireable neighborhoods of the metro area (lots of old money there). Last night, he hurriedly lined up in the chow line, got his food, and sat by himself with his earbuds in his ears and music jamming away. He is about 5 years older than I. No wedding ring. No wife, no daughters by his side. Checking Facebook and LinkedIn, apparently also no steady employment since he was part of one of the first work-force reductions in my company's history at the end of 1999. Every year or so he was hopping to another job.

I realize there are many reasons why people who seemed self-sufficient and successful can fall into desperation and need. But it is especially scary to see it has happened to someone with whom I was associated. It brings home the fragility of our individual situations, that the temporal lives of most people are built on sand. That we can lose it all within a very short period of time. And that people's lives are not always as they seem. I also wonder where the extended families are in these pictures. Anyone who is half-way normal, in my opinion, should be able to be cared for by relatives or friends. Perhaps, going back to the fact that people aren't always as they present themselves to associates in public, there are "fatal flaws" and families/friends have had to abandon them to protect themselves.

I don't know if I should attempt to find out this man's story (I don't know if he recognized me or not); I don't know if I want to risk reconnecting with him, lest I be drawn in too deeply and I endanger my own family's well-being. But prayers would definitely be in order for him.

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Dean
Most people's sense of history goes back to breakfast time - Benjamin Netanyahu

Sadly, Dean, this is not all that uncommon these days. I pray for him and all who find themselves in similar situations.

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Andrew McAllister

Respect for the dignity of every innocent human being from conception/fertilization, without exception, without compromise, without apology.

With my prayers - Joe K

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- Joe Kelley

Death is only a shadow across the path to Heaven.

That would be disturbing. Maybe because I'm getting older and thinking a lot about the future our young family members face, I've been getting a growing sense of this, of how easy it is to end up homeless. Over the last year there have been a lot of news stories about people in Greece and Spain who owned houses and businesses, and who've been made homeless. I also know of acquaintances of friends who have become homeless because of medical bills in the U.S. I've read that is the biggest cause in the U.S.-- not addictions.

Yes, you wonder about family. But some people really don't have much family.

Europe is getting scary, with 25% unemployment in Greece and Spain. Was just reading this:

End to evictions in Spain? Locksmiths refuse to help oust owners amid austerity drive
"Many eviction cases have ended in tragedy: More than 100 Spaniards committed suicide in 2012 after being kicked out of their homes."

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Grace

As to the past, let us entrust it to God's mercy, the future to Divine Providence. Our task is to live holy the present moment. - Saint Gianna Molla

Trying to assist someone is good. There was a time when I too, was poor and had little hope. God put people in my life who helped me. I cannot return the favor directly to them but I pass the favors onto others and help those I can. Yes, it could happen to any of us at any time. God has always been there for me so I do not worry about it. He provided the opportunity which I now have so I find daily gratitude. If I find myself without I will still praise and thank God. If crisis happens I still praise God. My love for God and faith are not dependent on how I am doing at the time. Don't worry about what you will eat or where you will sleep or if people will love you. Trust that God will provide all those things as He always has.

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Pax et Bonum


Schultzz

Is your church dealing with a homeless organization that might have or be able to get some information for you? I agree with you that you should not make personal contact, at least until you understand the situation. He might have become so discouraged and depressed that he just "dropped out" of family and society in general or, as you suggested, he might have some serious personal issue you should avoid.

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BobA

I suggest you find out if possible -you may learn something.

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Daniel

"Do you think that I have come to establish peace on the earth? No, I tell you, but rather division." -- Luke 12:51

God may have put an opportunity in your lap to help save a soul, even more than a body. I tend to think this is an opportunity.

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Jeff Stevens

I quite agree with Jeff.

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Pax et Bonum


Schultzz

Grace,



I've read this too and believe it but don't quite understand how it happens. My mother filed BK around 2003 and did not lose her home because she had to have hundreds of thousands dollars worth of equity before the BK court would take it....we just barely made it under the wire and I think, though I'm really not sure, that the point was over $300,000.

If a person racks up medical bills, why not just file BK before it gets to the point of losing your home? I have a friend whose husband went through his one million dollar limit of health care on his insurance policy and went on a special emergency type of medicaid and his wife is still in her home even though he died years after this happened and California has one of the least generous medicaid programs (yes, it's a federal program but administered by the state and some states give more than the Feds require). So, it confuses me so I'm missing something.

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Valerie Garcia
vals1990@yahoo.com

"Listen, O my son, to the precepts of thy master, and incline the ear of thy heart, and cheerfully receive and faithfully execute the admonitions of thy loving Father, that by the toil of obedience thou mayest return to Him ....." St. Benedict

Dean,

In 2010 when I couldn't pay food and utilities, the parish helped me directly and several friends at the parish gave me grocery cards and clothing. Someone here on this forum, an incredibly generous and kind person also helped me and two others had previously offered but at the time they offered, I'd just gotten some money and wasn't at as low a point yet. I'm terrified of homelessness but the reality is that there are people who will take me in temporarily but certainly, I'd wear out my welcome eventually. A cousin has offered me her home in Philly and says I'd be able to stay indefinitely.

I had to swallow my pride to accept help and so I don't know how your former colleague would respond to you making inquiries...he may feel ashamed to have fallen on such hard times, especially since he apparently is not being allowed to live with his daughters. There might be a family breakdown he won't discuss. I agree with others that discreet inquiries should be make first before you decide if you want to enter into his life to offer spiritual support.

I had community support and it's one of the problems in our society that there has been a breakdown in family and communities that have lessened the help that someone might have received fifty years ago.. .at least it seems that way. Offering help in the way you can while still caring for your family is a sign of that community support but it would be understandable if you simply could not help him without endangering the financial and spiritual health of your family.

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Valerie Garcia
vals1990@yahoo.com

"Listen, O my son, to the precepts of thy master, and incline the ear of thy heart, and cheerfully receive and faithfully execute the admonitions of thy loving Father, that by the toil of obedience thou mayest return to Him ....." St. Benedict

Someone in our Charismatic Community commented that: It is more blessed to give than to receive, and also much more pleasant.

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- Joe Kelley

Death is only a shadow across the path to Heaven.

Val,

I don't know, either. Possibly people sell their homes to get cash and move into a rented apartment thinking they will live off the money until things get better? Then they run out of money.

This wasn't a house, but an old family friend living in the U.S. had her car repossessed and she lost lots of money. She was living alone with family near but not in the same town. When this happened it became apparent that she had Alzheimer's and had simply forgotten to pay the installments. No compassion was shown by the bank/companies involved when her daughter explained. This would not happen in a relationship-oriented society like where I live now (although it is very corrupt and chaotic here-- not saying it is better in all ways).

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Grace

As to the past, let us entrust it to God's mercy, the future to Divine Providence. Our task is to live holy the present moment. - Saint Gianna Molla

Well, whoever they are or were, I am glad you were able to have been helped in your time of need. There were times in my life when I was in that position. It can be frightening. Fortunately, God put people in my life to help me too.

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Pax et Bonum


Schultzz

Update: I continue to make inquiries about him through people who know. He will probably continue to hang around the parish as part of our daily warming center, which offers meals and showers and clothes from early morning until just after lunch. By "hanging around," I mean that he functions as one of the volunteers at the center in addition to being one of its guests, which gives him the ability to in the parish building all through the day for as long as the parish is open, doing laundry for the center and cleaning up.

It is a 50-50 thing...of the previous 2 people who were allowed to do this, one became Catholic through RCIA and is steadily making improvement getting on his feet (he now lives with his sister and volunteers at the parish), while the other sadly was found to be the one breaking into our money boxes (for candles and publications) and wine closet and parish office, and he was kicked out.

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Dean
Most people's sense of history goes back to breakfast time - Benjamin Netanyahu

Life has a way of torpedoing your ship.

Some disaster happens, something you never even heard of, and you look around wondering what the hell happened.

You pick yourself up and start over. It looks like you're going to do all right, and suddenly life drops another disaster on you.

How many disasters can a person take? There's no way of knowing, but at some point the person just runs out of strength.

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Norman
...that is the regret of a lot of old people when they look back and realize too late what might have been.
This was what President Martin regretted. He thought he was doing something good. It was a disaster. How can anybody know what is the right thing to do?
-- Theresa

This reminds me of the parable about the good seed falling on fertile ground and some falling in the cracks.

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Pax et Bonum


Schultzz

I think it is awesome that your parish continues to take the risk and give people chances.

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Grace

As to the past, let us entrust it to God's mercy, the future to Divine Providence. Our task is to live holy the present moment. - Saint Gianna Molla

Shultzz and Grace,

It wasn't always like this. The parish needed a pastor willing to take the risks while maintaining appropriate boundaries. One of the risks that was realized was the neighborhood complained a great deal about the congregation of rough-looking people (mostly men) around the parish facilities at certain times of the week. Some complaints were for good reason...at the start, our guests were leaving liquor bottles outside and wandering around in the neighborhood. Our left-leaning local paper ironically even did a story critical of the parish for causing neighbors concern...an ironic situation because this paper is a consistent supporter of government welfare and doesn't seem to give a darn about the fallout from government welfare programs when it comes to neighborhood safety...it must be that it is a Catholic parish doing the work that raised the pique of the local rag.

The pastor and a very dedicated married couple persevered through the startup dificulties, however, and now the rough-looking congregation is quite orderly and peaceful. They police themselves and they assist in the clean-up of the facilities. And they seem to appear and disappear without being conspicuous to the neighborhood any longer. The parish now is widely known around the metro-Detroit area for the services it offers; local police refer indigent people to us; businesses donate much food; city-wide, residents donate clothes and money and bicycles and other useful stuff; the married couple has even worked out a program with an optometry business to provide an annual eye checkup and a pair of glasses each year. And we supply food and assistance to inner-city parishes operating smaller food banks.

All with no government taxation or help, by the way. Indeed, representatives of a government homeless program set up shop in our gym one day while this was going on, and one of the representatives told the woman running our program that we shouldn't be praying as part of this program, or the government representatives would have to leave. She told them to leave.

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Dean
Most people's sense of history goes back to breakfast time - Benjamin Netanyahu

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Daniel

"Do you think that I have come to establish peace on the earth? No, I tell you, but rather division." -- Luke 12:51

Quite impressive Dean. If only other parishes could emulate yours as a model.... Many graces and rewards will come to your parish I am sure.



Leave it to the secularized government to screw up a great thing. "Okay, we'll come to your place of worship to offer assistance, but if we catch you praying we'll have to curtail our involvement".

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Pax et Bonum


Schultzz

Indeed. Awesome.

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Jeff Stevens

Was she tempted to offer directions on where he should go.

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- Joe Kelley

Death is only a shadow across the path to Heaven.

She's too classy of a lady for that.

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Dean
Most people's sense of history goes back to breakfast time - Benjamin Netanyahu

Good for her.

Our parish serves the poor with food and clothing and receive food donations from the food bank which I believe is a government run program but the bank gives food to other local banks throughout the city without regard to religious status, they have never asked our parish to refrain from religious activities. We have a beautiful service center built with donations a couple of years ago. Prior to that the program operated out of a tiny building with most of the food being stored in a parishioners garage for twenty years.

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Valerie Garcia
vals1990@yahoo.com

"Listen, O my son, to the precepts of thy master, and incline the ear of thy heart, and cheerfully receive and faithfully execute the admonitions of thy loving Father, that by the toil of obedience thou mayest return to Him ....." St. Benedict

Amazing to me how such a program organized/run at the grass roots level living off of donations probably does more good proportionally and for less cost than a godless federal program imposed from above. Actually, not so amazing.

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Dean
Most people's sense of history goes back to breakfast time - Benjamin Netanyahu

God always finds away.

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Bob C

I rather think God blesses programs that spring from charitable intent and do not seek to push Him to the margins.

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Dean
Most people's sense of history goes back to breakfast time - Benjamin Netanyahu