Catholic Online Forum

Please pray for Joe Smith (his real name), who hanged himself today.

And please pray for my oldest daughter, who was the last one he "talked" to.

He had wanted to get together with her a day or so ago, and he was drunk at the time. In middle school, she had been sweet on him and he really hurt her badly, and so she stood up for herself back then and told him how wrong he was and that they could no longer be friends. And so she was very hesitant to become acquainted again. He never told her he was suicidal. She had no idea, or I know she would have risked being hurt again to help him up.

Yet she is very upset and regretful and feeling guilty now.

Thank you.

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Dean
Most people's sense of history goes back to breakfast time - Benjamin Netanyahu

I'll pray.

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Grace

As to the past, let us entrust it to God's mercy, the future to Divine Providence. Our task is to live holy the present moment. - Saint Gianna Molla

My prayers for them.

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Charles MacKenzie

"For nature is one with rapine, a harm no preacher can heal;
The Mayfly is torn by the swallow, the sparrow spear'd by the shrike,
And the whole little wood where I sit is a world of plunder and prey."
-Tennyson

my prayers too ....

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Simon Archer
".....As for me and my household, we will serve the Lord." (Joshua 24:15)

And we are part of "... a people brought into unity from the unity of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit." (Lumen Gentium article 4)

How awful.

Prayers for him and for your daughter.

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Jeff Stevens

I'm so sorry!
My prayers

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Line

"I can do anything through Christ crucified, for I know truly that He does not lay a heavier load on His creatures than they can bear."
~ St. Catherine of Siena

Our Father does not inspire us to do what cannot be done

Dean, I'm sorry to hear of your sad news. Please tell your daughter that this person had other issues which had nothing to do with what she said or did in the past or present. Chances are that whatever was said between them had nothing to do with him taking his own life. Usually people this age plan these events in advance due to a number of possible reasons none of which have to do with your daughter. They have to do with a distorted perception of themselves and their problems, and mental illness, how they were brought up, etc.

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Pax et Bonum


Schultzz

I am very sorry, Dean. My prayers for all.

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Rebecca

I will pray for him, his family and your daughter. Watch over your children closely, sometimes suicide becomes contagious.

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Bob C

I pray for all involved. So sorry to hear this.

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Andrew McAllister

Respect for the dignity of every innocent human being from conception/fertilization, without exception, without compromise, without apology.

Dean, my prayers for Joe and those who love him and, especially for your daughter, that she comes to realize that she has done nothing for which to feel guilt.

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In Christ,

Jim B

I will consider your position if stated with firm, well-thought-out, quiet reasoning. Hateful diatribe, ad hominem attacks and shouted rhetoric don't impress.

My prayers also for Joe and his family, and your daughter.

Sophie

Thank you, all. Yes, I am very concerned about copycat suicides, especially if there is a lot of attention and ado surrounding funeral arrangements or memorials. A kid desiring attention and seeing all the sadness may decide this is something for him or her to try out on friends and family, if only to attempt and then maybe back out of it. And kids this age are so governed by sentiments and given to brazen acts.

I spoke very firmly with my daughter last night. I told her that she should grieve and pray for Joe's soul first of all and constantly, but that she must not begin to make any of this about her or take any responsibility for this death. Having known Joe since kindergarten, his life is sadly a classic example of how a parental abdication situation, a dearth of faith and the practice of religion, and a pattern of using others (personal sin) can gradually, over years, alienate a person from any social support to the point that he is utterly alone and doesn't even believe he has God on his side.

May God be merciful to Joe, may Joe have seen the error of his ways the moment he faced the Lord, and may he have repented before it was too late.

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Dean
Most people's sense of history goes back to breakfast time - Benjamin Netanyahu

Saying a prayer.

It really makes a person stop and think about the teens under their own care.

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Rose West
"May God help us not to spoil His work" (Bl. Mother Theresa)

I'm sorry to hear about this death. Sending prayers for him and your daughter and others who knew him.

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Judas was the first to leave mass early

With my prayers for him and for all those who mourn his loss - Joe K.

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- Joe Kelley

Death is only a shadow across the path to Heaven.

Dean,

I am sorry. My prayers for him and his family, your daughter and your family.

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Ian DC
Blessed Ever Virgin Mary -- Sanctuary and resting-place of the Blessed Trinity where God dwells in greater and more divine splendour than anywhere else in the universe

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-Lou (Louis)

ORA et LABORA
Totus Tuus
Cacciatore/Fungaiolo

Yes it does, Rose. And it makes you think about the teens not under your own care who pass through your life and who you know are traveling down the wrong path. A suicide makes a lot of people question whether they could have done one small thing differently that would have altered the child's course. I know I'm asking a lot of those questions of myself right now.

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Dean
Most people's sense of history goes back to breakfast time - Benjamin Netanyahu

Prayers for both of them.

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Rob

Prayers for all effected by this tragedy.

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Valerie Garcia
vals1990@yahoo.com

"Listen, O my son, to the precepts of thy master, and incline the ear of thy heart, and cheerfully receive and faithfully execute the admonitions of thy loving Father, that by the toil of obedience thou mayest return to Him ....." St. Benedict

Praying.

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James Daly

"It is the Lord." (Jn 21:7)

I don't know of anyone who killed themselves when I was a kid, but I've known two young men who did so since I've lived in this state. One was an IT intern in my office and the other went to our church. Both created a horrible sense of loss in those circles.

And yes, you do think back to every conversation you ever had with these kids. I'm glad to be able to say that even when there was teasing with the young man from IT, none of it was negative. The one from our parish was very lonely. I sort of wish I had some way of encouraging the kids to reach out to him more, but he was in high school and our oldest was barely in junior high at the time.

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Rose West
"May God help us not to spoil His work" (Bl. Mother Theresa)

Here is the obituary to put a human face on this very sad situation. Joe is the closest person to me who has killed himself, and I cannot stop remembering him in prayer. I found out from my daughter that he was on anti-depressants, which gives me more hope that his culpability is greatly diminished.

Father of mercy, may Joe be at peace with you.

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Dean
Most people's sense of history goes back to breakfast time - Benjamin Netanyahu

Still praying for Joe, and also for the people around him like you, Dean, as you try to come to some sort of understanding about all of this.

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Rose West
"May God help us not to spoil His work" (Bl. Mother Theresa)

Thank you, Rose. In a way, I become connected to all of my kids' friends as kind of a parent. Many of my daughter's college-aged friends call me "Dad." If Joe's death hits me this hard, I can't begin to imagine how his parents are taking this.

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Dean
Most people's sense of history goes back to breakfast time - Benjamin Netanyahu

Renewed prayers going up, Dean.

My nephew killed himself about 20 years ago and my sister has never gotten over it. I pray to God that it never happens to anyone close to me again.

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In Christ,

Jim B

I will consider your position if stated with firm, well-thought-out, quiet reasoning. Hateful diatribe, ad hominem attacks and shouted rhetoric don't impress.

I pray for Joe and his family, that they will find peace in the embrace of Jesus.

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Andrew McAllister

Respect for the dignity of every innocent human being from conception/fertilization, without exception, without compromise, without apology.

In any suicide there is a time, maybe brief, between when one acts and when one dies. I think it important to pray that God touched him and brought him to repentance in that moment.

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- Joe Kelley

Death is only a shadow across the path to Heaven.

Dean,

I shall pray for the soul of Joe Smith, also for his family and friends.

I shall pray for you too, your daughter, family and community.

It makes me think about my own daughter who is having problems with her best friends and who tells me she is very unpopular in the School, she is only 11 but from now on I shall keep an eye on things just to make sure they don't snowball.

I shall pray for you.

God bless you

Graham

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Be joyful always; Pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

1 Thessalonians verses 16-18

http://www.stpatricksstafford.co.uk/index.asp

I shall offer this mornings communion for Joe. I pray that he repented and is in purgatory awaiting the day he will be with our dear Lord. I shall keep those who loved him in my prayers as well.
I will also petition St. Philomena who loves all young people and intercedes for them.

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In His Hands,

Lisa
JMJ

Praying now.

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Kevin R.