Catholic Online Forum

My two cents worth , or maybe adding fuel to the fire. If I was editing this book, that one sentence would be thrown out in my first read through, no reason at all to have it.

Rose,

Thanks for the NaNoWriMo. I love flash prose. Last year I was writing a lot of flash fiction on Fridays, hashtag #fridayflash on twitter, which is writing a short story of 1000+/- words on Fridays. This sounds like a lot of fun.

Norman,

I don't know how much concrit you are looking for but if you want serious editing I'll be glad to help. Both my wife and I read a lot of drafts and edit for people with whom I write. She is my first line editor in everything I write. It can be brutal but very educational.

_________________
Patrick Mitchell

Hospody Isuse Khryste, synu zhyvogo Boga, pomylui mene grishnyka
Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, have Mercy on me, a sinner

There was a best selling novel some years ago, I forget which one, but in the story a character heard wolves howling in some state like Connecticutt. A book critic pointed out there hadn't been wolves there in over a century.


I’m surprised somebody didn’t catch it.



Now wait a minute! Why would a Russian sub be spying on an American carrier after the Cold War?

It took two carriers for the operation of eliminating the alien thing along with Theresa. The first carrier was only a refueling stop for the small plane carrying Theresa far out to sea. The second carrier was the Ronald Reagan which is normally based in the Pacific but was brought around South America to the Atlantic. This was certainly unusual enough to make the Russians notice, but not enough to send a spy sub. After all, what could the sub see?

The President’s men can’t just grab Theresa at any time. It has to be the right moment. She had to be driving a car alone in a remote area where they’ll have helicopters hidden to whisk her away before her “watchers” come to her rescue.

So the Ronald Reagan and its support ships slowly move around a small circle deep in the South Atlantic, where they have no business being, to wait. And wait. And wait. And wait. Until Theresa is grabbed and brought to them. This is why the Russians send the spy sub.

Just a small example of how difficult it is to write a story like this, as opposed to a murder mystery, romance, or Steve King novel where you can write anything you want and it doesn’t matter.

_________________
Norman
...that is the regret of a lot of old people when they look back and realize too late what might have been.
This was what President Martin regretted. He thought he was doing something good. It was a disaster. How can anybody know what is the right thing to do?
-- Theresa

Hmmm. That's interesting. How do we get together through the email?

I'm interested because you're on a Catholic forum and I presume you wouldn't suggest I make Theresa Jewish, Baptist, Amish, or something like that to please somebody's agenda.

Of course, I'm sending out queries to literary agents once in a while and any day some positive vibes might come back to me.

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Norman
...that is the regret of a lot of old people when they look back and realize too late what might have been.
This was what President Martin regretted. He thought he was doing something good. It was a disaster. How can anybody know what is the right thing to do?
-- Theresa

As someone who could wall paper my bathroom with rejections slips from agents and publishers I will tell you that the story is yours.

The way we edit stories, manuscripts, books, and more is the first few reads just pretty much throws out all unnecessary sentences, words, phrases etc. We (my wife and I) then go through and work on grammar and punctuation. Then if the person hasn't blocked my email from their inbox we go into story flow, dialog, word usage, etc. We never change the story or the characters, if we think one scene or some dialog should go somewhere else we will recommend it but ultimately it is up to the author, as is all editing. We will focus on the first 50 pages more so than the entire manuscript as if your first 5 pages make it through the agent's secretary then the agent will read the first 50. Sometimes that's all people want. Sometimes it is just the first two pages. It's up to the author.

A group of writers I work with usually just trade scenes for editing. I just passed around a two paragraph excerpt from my work in progress where my character is making a paint brush. I didn't like it so I gave it to people to read.

I offer this to people because it not only helps them but helps me in my own writing. To date I have helped 1 person get published. I figure if JRR Tolkein and CS Lewis talked about writing to each other there has to be something to that process.

_________________
Patrick Mitchell

Hospody Isuse Khryste, synu zhyvogo Boga, pomylui mene grishnyka
Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, have Mercy on me, a sinner

Patrick,
Are you in the oil exploration business?

I'm trying to send an email through your catholic.org profile, but get "errors". I've seen this before. Never figured it out. Drives me insane.

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Norman
...that is the regret of a lot of old people when they look back and realize too late what might have been.
This was what President Martin regretted. He thought he was doing something good. It was a disaster. How can anybody know what is the right thing to do?
-- Theresa

My address in there is correct. Just copy and paste it to your email program and you should have no problem.

No I was not in exploration, I was in production. After the well is drilled the production side pulls the oil and gas out of the ground.

_________________
Patrick Mitchell

Hospody Isuse Khryste, synu zhyvogo Boga, pomylui mene grishnyka
Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, have Mercy on me, a sinner

OK.
I gotta go to work now, yes, on Sunday!
I have Monday and Tuesday off.

_________________
Norman
...that is the regret of a lot of old people when they look back and realize too late what might have been.
This was what President Martin regretted. He thought he was doing something good. It was a disaster. How can anybody know what is the right thing to do?
-- Theresa

Funny the copy and paste didn't work. Don't know what that about. I'll check in the technical section.

_________________
Patrick Mitchell

Hospody Isuse Khryste, synu zhyvogo Boga, pomylui mene grishnyka
Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, have Mercy on me, a sinner

I did NaNoWriMo a couple of years.

Couldn't abide the silly rules, though.

They actually expected me to make measurable progress!

The nerve!!!

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In Christ,

Jim B

I will consider your position if stated with firm, well-thought-out, quiet reasoning. Hateful diatribe, ad hominem attacks and shouted rhetoric don't impress.

LOL! I think the people who have research and some sort of outline done in October have the best chances of making it in November. Otherwise, as you describe, one finds an interesting bit of research information and travels down the garden path and there goes a week.

_________________
Rose West
"May God help us not to spoil His work" (Bl. Mother Theresa)

I have a book in mind and may work on an outline but I work better from my internal outlines. Plus it works out to only 1.15 words every minute of everyday in the month. No problem.

_________________
Patrick Mitchell

Hospody Isuse Khryste, synu zhyvogo Boga, pomylui mene grishnyka
Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, have Mercy on me, a sinner

A question for all who are writing novels: Are you using any particular software? There are some good ones I've seen on the Internet that is available freely and they are really good in helping to arrange your characters and chapters.

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Ian DC
Blessed Ever Virgin Mary -- Sanctuary and resting-place of the Blessed Trinity where God dwells in greater and more divine splendour than anywhere else in the universe

I tried a couple but they didn't fit me too well so I use my Open Office Word processor and spreadsheets to do all my organizing.

_________________
Patrick Mitchell

Hospody Isuse Khryste, synu zhyvogo Boga, pomylui mene grishnyka
Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, have Mercy on me, a sinner

Make the jump to LibreOffice. Same base code, same programers, who jumped ship after Oracle took over. Version 3.4 is a whole step above, in my opinion, but not to the extent of MS Office's less usable (IMO) interface.

_________________
Rose West
"May God help us not to spoil His work" (Bl. Mother Theresa)

IanJM wrote:


Praetor wrote:


I find this a very interesting subject because I’ve been through it.

I don’t know anything about novel writing software, but similarly to Praetor I used Microsoft Works Word Processor to keep track of information in Empress Theresa.

For example, even I had trouble keeping track of names, as I went back to edit and correct ( the reader doesn’t have a problem with this because many characters appear briefly and are seen no more ) and I had a word processor file just to list the names:



Likewise, I had to write down a timeline to keep track of Theresa’s age as she started and ended each year of school, and correlate it to Presidents and other characters’s appearances:



I don’t see how any software could do this work for you.

_________________
Norman
...that is the regret of a lot of old people when they look back and realize too late what might have been.
This was what President Martin regretted. He thought he was doing something good. It was a disaster. How can anybody know what is the right thing to do?
-- Theresa

Norman,

There is software out there that allows you to have searchable character sheets, outlines, and currently written work all in one, tabbed spot, so you can flip around as necessary. You still have to do the work and put it all in the program, but it helps to organize everything so that you can navigate it easily.

_________________
Rose West
"May God help us not to spoil His work" (Bl. Mother Theresa)

Norman,

It's really a database type software. By creating your timeline you are doing a basic of what the software can do for you, though your timeline is just for your Protagonist.. The way I use my spreadsheets is that I can cross reference all my characters to all my dates and to each other. Each character's time line has a dedicated sheet and each period of time with events has a sheet, from before the written story to after. Each date on the character timeline is linked to that date's sheet. The date's sheet has links to all the characters and what they are doing on said date. My chapters are all separate documents and they have their own sheets on the software where I can reference the outline of the location, what has happened there and when (whether historical or current), and where I have the detailed description of said location.

I use this mainly as my outlining tool before I start my prose. I didn't think outlining like this would be helpful but it allows me to write more smoothly and not confuse encounters between characters. My current work in progress has a Protagonist which is actually an icon of the Theotokos, the people and places that surround the story of this icon are intertwined in an elaborate web that I could not keep track of without my Libreoffice (yes, Rose, I am giving it a try).

_________________
Patrick Mitchell

Hospody Isuse Khryste, synu zhyvogo Boga, pomylui mene grishnyka
Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, have Mercy on me, a sinner

Here, Norman, is a link to one of the software programs out there. Most of these have one-month freeware options that just so happen to coincide with Nanowrimo. (I guess the premise is that once you've seen how wonderful it is during the month, you'll want to buy the package.) For people who know how to set up relational databases and spreadsheets, it's probably unnecessary.

http://www.literatureandlatte.com/scrivenerforwindows/

_________________
Rose West
"May God help us not to spoil His work" (Bl. Mother Theresa)

Rose,

I checked your link and scrivener looks pretty impressive.
Check their testamonials page. some authors use it exclusively instead of a word processor ( exporting it to a word processor at submission time )

Empress Theresa is simple reading. A ten year old could follow the basic story, and that's how I intended it. But writing it was a true nightmare. The only reason I could get all the elements together like a jigsaw puzzle was that I worked on the story in my head for fifteen years before writing down a single word, and I could visualize all the scenes and dialogue like watching a movie.

If I ever write another story I'll try scrivener, but it's not likely. An idea like Theresa would be tough to follow, and if it took another seventeen years to write that takes me out to age 80 !!!

Norm, future Nobel laureate

_________________
Norman
...that is the regret of a lot of old people when they look back and realize too late what might have been.
This was what President Martin regretted. He thought he was doing something good. It was a disaster. How can anybody know what is the right thing to do?
-- Theresa

I started sending chapters to Patrick for his editting. In quoting just one line from Chapter 1 in one of the earlier emails, I noticed another typo! This is after having proofread the entire book myself four times.

When the book gets published, I'll include a thank note to Patrick in my preface. ( All great books should have a preface. )

( Do you think I'll be knighted for making British Prime Minister Peter Blair a hero? )

_________________
Norman
...that is the regret of a lot of old people when they look back and realize too late what might have been.
This was what President Martin regretted. He thought he was doing something good. It was a disaster. How can anybody know what is the right thing to do?
-- Theresa

Thanks, Norman, Patrick and Rose.

I downloaded a software but can recall the name. It is in my netbook, which I sent in for servicing and am collecting it today. Will let you know soon what it is. There are a few software out there, and some pretty helpful ones to keep track of characters, but I find Patrick's approach practical and easy.

_________________
Ian DC
Blessed Ever Virgin Mary -- Sanctuary and resting-place of the Blessed Trinity where God dwells in greater and more divine splendour than anywhere else in the universe

A question about college campus security arose on another thread.

Here's something from chapter from chapter five of Empress Theresa.


____The Committee convened at 9:30 a.m. Tuesday. The first witness was the DIA Director. He described how his watchers had been keeping an eye on Theresa since she was ten years old. After describing how Theresa came to their attention, he testified there had been up to four hundred people at a time assigned to watching Theresa. It was very difficult to follow somebody
for years without being detected, he explained. People had to be changed frequently or be noticed. Then he got to the part that Steve found most interesting.
____“The most difficult kind of tailing is following somebody around a college campus. A stranger is easily recognized. But we knew her schedule and where she should be every hour. We’d have somebody walk by at a distance of a hundred feet to confirm her movements except that she might not arrive somewhere at exactly the same time everyday and we had to keep our people moving. We’d send twenty or more people by a spot in thirty second intervals. One or two of them would spot her.”
_____“How much did all this cost?”
_____“Approximately a third of a billion dollars over twelve years.”
_____So all this time Steve had been with Theresa they’d been watched by this army of spies. They had a ten foot thick file on everything he’d done in the last three and a half years. Theresa never said a word.

_________________
Norman
...that is the regret of a lot of old people when they look back and realize too late what might have been.
This was what President Martin regretted. He thought he was doing something good. It was a disaster. How can anybody know what is the right thing to do?
-- Theresa

Writers: How do you handle many issues at once in a short space?

When Theresa begins work on breaking the code for controlling HAL ( actually there is no code, she must invent one ) with the possibility she might acquire great power, the world is understandably worried.
In the weekly House of Commons duty called Questions to the Prime Minister, Peter Blair is challenged with eight issues.

1. How did Blair justify letting Theresa go off to crack the HAL code by herself when she had offered to share the job with a committee?
2. Could Theresa be expected to do it without help?
3. Could Theresa be trusted in general?
4. Could Theresa be kept under control?
5. Would she be overwhelmed by her circumstances and turn bad?
6. Was she qualified to assume a powerful position? If not,…
7. Should her conscience prevent her from assuming a job she can’t handle?
8. Wouldn’t her assuming power be a contradiction of democracy?

______A member from the opposition stood up and asked, “Can the Honorable Prime Minister assure this House that by his lonely decision our esteemed friend Mrs. Hartley can be trusted with this arduous task which she herself described the most impossible ever imposed on a human being without abundant assistance from His Majesty’s government?”
______Blair jumped up to the table with his book of notes to answer.
_____“The time factor was crucial to my decision. Mrs. Hartley has been working on the problem for years. A team of assistants might take months to understand her theories and reach consensus on strategy. Let us give her a chance to make progress.”
_____He stalled and became pensive to get full control of his audience.
____“We should consider how it came to be that Theresa Hartley was chosen to be host to HAL. Her character is impeccable. Her intellect is of the finest quality. HAL merged with her when she was ten. A few years earlier and she would have told everybody about HAL with most unfortunate results for herself and us. A few years later and she might not have developed the skills needed for the challenge. But she received HAL at age ten, old enough to know to keep HAL a secret, but young enough to set herself on that path of intellectual development to enable her to address the HAL problem. Did all these favorable things happen by chance, or by design?”
_____Now he really had their attention. They, and the Hartleys in Parker’s living room, sat in stony silence wondering where he was going.
______“Mrs. Hartley didn’t know about President Martin’s death before I told her the morning we rode to Mr. Parker‘s home. You saw she had not said a word about him in our long discussion the previous night. Not a reprobating word from her for the man who tried to kill her. She expressed sorrow for, in her words, ’the poor guy’. This is Theresa
Hartley. This is the woman chosen to save us all. This is Saint Theresa among us now.”
_____The House stood up as one to cheer his answer. But the leader of the opposition wouldn’t let it rest. He stood up and was recognized.
_____“Is the Prime Minister aware it may come to pass Mrs. Hartley acting alone can do anything she wants no matter how outrageous and the whole world can’t stop her?”
_____The PM jumped back up.
____“Who will trust a committee? We know Theresa well enough. The only thing that can stop Theresa is her own conscience, and it will.”
______The opposition leader kept at it.
______“Does the Prime Minister agree a person with good conscience in ordinary circumstances can be overwhelmed in the extraordinary and be changed for the worse?”
______“I spoke with President Stinson last evening. She said everything is known about Theresa. Their intelligence agency has a room full of reports and tapes on every moment of her life for twelve years. Teams of psychologists have studied these documents. There is nothing to suggest a fault in the steadiness of her character despite her youth. She is grounded on rock, not sand.”
_____And again!
_____“Does the Prime Minister agree a person with conscience should not be a physician if he has not been so trained? Does the Prime Minister agree one with conscience should not be in a position of power without adequate education and experience?”
_____“My honorable friend points to jobs requiring skills. But Theresa does not set out to manipulate organs or people. Theresa’s job only requires cleverness and a good heart.”
_____One more shot.
_____“Does the Prime Minister agree it may come to pass we have a person in power without democratic representation?”
_____“The world has long dreamed of a philosopher king but never got one. Selfish, self-serving men won’t follow him. Now we may get a philosopher empress despite ourselves, for Theresa will require no one‘s cooperation. Have courage. She will ask nothing from us.”

_________________
Norman
...that is the regret of a lot of old people when they look back and realize too late what might have been.
This was what President Martin regretted. He thought he was doing something good. It was a disaster. How can anybody know what is the right thing to do?
-- Theresa

Empress Theresa's Summary of Theology

While being taken to what she thinks will be certain death, Theresa says this prayer in her mind:




---------------------------------------

Three weeks later, the British Prime Minister tells the House of Commons:



A book could be written about that. Hey, wait a minute. Somebody already has. It's called the Book of Psalms.

_________________
Norman
...that is the regret of a lot of old people when they look back and realize too late what might have been.
This was what President Martin regretted. He thought he was doing something good. It was a disaster. How can anybody know what is the right thing to do?
-- Theresa

The thread called "Relations among math, the world, and God" in the Speculation has become, at least in the last day or so, a discussion about the way people are not open to new ideas, don't see the truth of proofs and evidence, and, as a common saying goes, "People don't let facts get in the way of their beliefs".

I contended that receptivity to new ideas, ability to see the truth of proofs and evidence as well as recognizing the rhetorical tricks being used to deceive are skills that must be learned at an early age before the brain is hardwired for good.

There is an analogous situation with Theresa.
After HAL merges with her when she's ten, she gradually begins to realize she might be tested some day. When other girls are worrying about hairstyles and boys, she worries about communicating with HAL. She matures quickly. In the words of a story character, "She became an adult before she became a woman.

Since she can't communicate with HAL she majors in mathematics in college to learn symbolic communication theory. She maintains a large computer file about her own theories about how to communicate with HAL in mathematical language. She calls the file MISSION IMPOSSIBLE.

When she's 22, a threathening world disaster makes it necessary to get HAL to "give us a break", but nobody has any idea what HAL is, let alone how to communicate with him. In a long talk on a live television
broadcast viewed by four billion people, the British Prime Minister asks Theresa questions about HAL, always being careful not to interrupt her thoughts. Eventually, she figures out what HAL is, how he operates, and how he might be controlled.

The government has been watching her for twelve years. They know as much about HAL as Theresa, which is practically nothing. There are some very smart people in government agencies. But as it turns out, in the end, it's Theresa who figures out what HAL is, because she spent her formative teenager years preparing herself for it.

_________________
Norman
...that is the regret of a lot of old people when they look back and realize too late what might have been.
This was what President Martin regretted. He thought he was doing something good. It was a disaster. How can anybody know what is the right thing to do?
-- Theresa

So, you're looking for a story about a character who inspires faith in God by overcoming adversity?
Try Empress Theresa. This girl just won't quit.

chapter by chapter outlines
http://www.empresstheresa.com/chapter_outlines

"Let's see atheists explain a miracle like Theresa" says her priest.

At one point even Theresa gets fed up with the problems being thrown at her. Prime Minister Blair calls with another problem. She drops the phone on the floor and says, "Everybody wants something from me. I can't do everything."

But she will. As husband Steve says, "Politicians are hiding under their desks. Theresa has to do it all."

( Please note. Transferring the text from wordprocessor to Notepad to my website has caused many typoes and missing punctuation,
but I'm working on it. )

_________________
Norman
...that is the regret of a lot of old people when they look back and realize too late what might have been.
This was what President Martin regretted. He thought he was doing something good. It was a disaster. How can anybody know what is the right thing to do?
-- Theresa

I completed restoring the paragraph indentations and missing punctuation in that chapter by chapter outline.

It's finally readable.

http://www.empresstheresa.com/chapter_outlines

_________________
Norman
...that is the regret of a lot of old people when they look back and realize too late what might have been.
This was what President Martin regretted. He thought he was doing something good. It was a disaster. How can anybody know what is the right thing to do?
-- Theresa

I've been having bloody discussions with atheists on the catholic.com forums. There's a new atheist over there and I've gone a few rounds with him.
It turns out he's a college student going for his M.A., and he's written three books, a mystery, a sci/fi and something else. Hasn't published anything yet.
We've been having a nice conversation about writing.
He thought my Empress Theresa was about religion and suggested I contact the small Christian book publishers. I responded as follows:

---------------------------------------------------

There are Christian presses out there and maybe I'll get around to them this year or next.
However,
they might think my story isn't Christian enough.

The truth is, my book has no religious dogma in it. It's mentioned a couple of times that Theresa is Catholic, which shouldn't be surprising since she's from the Boston area, but that's as far as the book goes discussing religion. Well, readers will want to know her background!
Theresa herself never mentions God or Catholics, except once when she protests "I'm not God."

You may recall the 1950 movie "The Robe", Richard Burton, etc. It was based on the book published by a Methodist minister during WWII. I read the book and was disappointed It did not have the exciting scene in Caligula's throne room that made the movie so good. The slave was not captured by Caligula and rescued from the palace dungeon. There were plenty of long so-so scenes the movie wisely skipped.
The book was full of proselytysing about Jesus, what he said and did. That was the book's purpose. That's all right, I guess, but I prefer Acquinas. The book was number one on the New York Times bestseller list,
for nine months !!! I think people in the Bible Belt were buying it, but probably nobody else. .

Empress Theresa's purpose is to show what a decent girl with a good heart can do when given the opportunity. That's all.

Having her being a Catholic gives the evacuation of Israel situation special poignancy. Theresa has no connections to Judaism but knocks herself out helping the Jews. If Theresa were Jewish it wouldn't be as effective. Well, what would you expect?

( When Theresa meets Israeli Prime Minister Sherzer in London, Sherzer doesn't have to ask her for anything. She and Steve have already decided what to do about Israel, and their plan is so perfect Scherzer accepts it without reservation. )

She also risks her neck to go into North Korea and liberate the people there. No mention of religion.. Do they have any?

However, there are 1,150,000,000 Catholics in the world.

http://www.empresstheresa.com/chapter_outlines

_________________
Norman
...that is the regret of a lot of old people when they look back and realize too late what might have been.
This was what President Martin regretted. He thought he was doing something good. It was a disaster. How can anybody know what is the right thing to do?
-- Theresa

In the thread The Hunger Games in the Coffee and Doughnuts section, I wrote:



I don't believe in the premise of Independence Day. An alien race travels by spaceship and arrives at Earth. That's 99.9999% impossible for reasons I won't go into.
The Firm, and Fail Safe had plausible premises.

Empress Theresa is halfway between the two. A lifeless thing made from matter that has multiplied in the trillions and wandered randomly for billions of years wanders into Earth and clings to a girl. Unlikely but plausible I think.
But, and this is a big but,
nothing would have happened if the President hadn't tried to get rid of the alien thing, along with Theresa by default. Theresa would have gone along with her life as if HAL wasn't there.

But of course, the President does try to get rid of HAL and Theresa, and as a result all the rest of the story falls into place with the inevitability of a falling row of dominoes. Most of the time Theresa has to do what she does with the world as she finds it. Aren't we all in this situation to some extent?

_________________
Norman
...that is the regret of a lot of old people when they look back and realize too late what might have been.
This was what President Martin regretted. He thought he was doing something good. It was a disaster. How can anybody know what is the right thing to do?
-- Theresa

The purpose of setting up my website,
and of talking about Empress Theresa here,
was to protect my work.
In looking around the intenet I've found that the movie studios in particular are notorious for stealing ideas.
So to make it difficult to write a parallel story
I'll post this: ( let's see somebody write a parallel story with scenes like this! )


Empress Theresa’s “impossible” tasks:
1. Escaping from the jet fighter plane
2. Figuring out what HAL is and how he works
3. Getting control of HAL
4. Providing rain
5. Getting the world through the winter with a year’s crop totally lost
6. Keeping ocean levels under control
7. Preventing the oceans from overheating
8. Finding a new source of oil
9. Giving the Israelis 24 hour daylight
10. Giving the Israelis a way to evacuate Israel in one day
11. Liberating the North Koreans
12. Eliminating the threat of 200 new HALs

_________________
Norman
...that is the regret of a lot of old people when they look back and realize too late what might have been.
This was what President Martin regretted. He thought he was doing something good. It was a disaster. How can anybody know what is the right thing to do?
-- Theresa

Suzanne Collins was already a published author and had no problem getting The War Games in print before others watered down the market for the idea.
( the Japanese "Battle Royale" story was too violent for mass marketing under a PG-13, but Collins said she never heard of the book )

I don't have the luxury of waiting five years. So, you've seen my old "empther" name on these forums going back to 2005,
and I'm still using "empther" on the catholic.com forums, also since at least 2005.

( Just finished the first draft of Empress Theresa on Jan 2, 2011, but I've been working on the story since 1994. It's been a gradual evolution. There was no "ah hah!" moment. )

_________________
Norman
...that is the regret of a lot of old people when they look back and realize too late what might have been.
This was what President Martin regretted. He thought he was doing something good. It was a disaster. How can anybody know what is the right thing to do?
-- Theresa

And if the last two posts weren't enough to stop some hack writer from stealing my idea,

I told some coworkers a few details of my story way back in 1998.

So there!

Go write a romance novel, or something. That should keep you busy a couple of weeks.

_________________
Norman
...that is the regret of a lot of old people when they look back and realize too late what might have been.
This was what President Martin regretted. He thought he was doing something good. It was a disaster. How can anybody know what is the right thing to do?
-- Theresa

I month ago I finished reading the Hunder Games trilogy of books. Suzanne Collins wrote the books as young adult novels, books aimed at people age 12 to 19.

The scales fell from my eyes. I'd written Empress Theresa as a science fiction story, but it screamed to be a young adult novel. I've been editting a young adult version and am nearly finished. The story is told in the first person of Theresa and I reduced her age to 18 and 19 for most of the story. Many scenes and much dialogue is eliminated making the text easier to follow.

There are a few interesting changes to the story like the following. Theresa is flying back the the States on a Boeing 747. HAL suddenly puts everybody on the plane into 'deep sleep' except 19 year old Theresa. The same 'deep sleep' process neutralizes solid state electronics. She has no radio communication with the ground.
As she tries to land on the two mile runway of JFK, she sees that the runway has been blocked with hundreds of trucks, fire engines, and buses. She can't land.

_________________
Norman
...that is the regret of a lot of old people when they look back and realize too late what might have been.
This was what President Martin regretted. He thought he was doing something good. It was a disaster. How can anybody know what is the right thing to do?
-- Theresa

All right. I rechecked the map and it's Queens that Theresa flies over, not Brooklyn. Oh well!

When Theresa approaches New York a small lead plane guides her down to the water where a two mile long rectangle of water has been cleared of all boats. The ground wants her to land on water because they have no idea if she can land at the airport.
Theresa balks at landing on water.

She circles around and makes the landing attempt at JFK, but the long runway is blocked.

She makes it over Manhattan and circles around. The water rectangle is still clear of boats, but do they still want her to land there? She figures that the people on the ground have analyzed videos of her aborted landing and decided she has enough control of the plane to risk an airport landing.

She guesses right. This time the runway is clear and she lands there.

_________________
Norman
...that is the regret of a lot of old people when they look back and realize too late what might have been.
This was what President Martin regretted. He thought he was doing something good. It was a disaster. How can anybody know what is the right thing to do?
-- Theresa

_________________
Norman
...that is the regret of a lot of old people when they look back and realize too late what might have been.
This was what President Martin regretted. He thought he was doing something good. It was a disaster. How can anybody know what is the right thing to do?
-- Theresa

Theresa Plays Quarterback in "Army-Navy Game" !!!

After Theresa has been in England nearly a year, the time is coming near for her return home.

The America Ambassador to England visits her and suggest that she return to the States on the U.S. carrier Ronald Reagan, the same carrier to which she had been flown a year earlier and put in a jet fighter in President Martin's failed attempt to destroy HAL along with Theresa.
Since that unhappy day the Ronald Reagan has become a leper colony. Nobody wants to be assigned there. If Theresa rode on the ship it would restore the crew's pride.

Steve and Theresa step in another room and talk about it for a while. They come back and explain that the mindless HAL was unpredictable. If she went back to the ship, there was no predicting what HAL might do. He could sink the ship!

Theresa tells the Ambassador to send the Ronald Reagan crew to West Point and she'll play football with them. She will be the quarterback. It will be an Army-Navy Game played on the Fourth of July.

To make the game fair, neither side can use regular academy football players. The Ronald Reagan team will be amateurs and the Army will have to use amateurs too.

Theresa's throwing arm is as accurate as a sharpshooter's rifle thanks to HAL. Navy wins.

_________________
Norman
...that is the regret of a lot of old people when they look back and realize too late what might have been.
This was what President Martin regretted. He thought he was doing something good. It was a disaster. How can anybody know what is the right thing to do?
-- Theresa

There’s a thread on the catholic.com forum called “Another Reason Hollywood Stinks”.
I got involved in a discussion with some people there, one is a movie screenplay writer who hasn’t sold a screenplay yet, and we got down to the interesting subject of actors playing teenagers.

Excerpts:
( comments in red are from these other people )

You know...I wrote one [ screenplay ] with real people...real situations...and guess what Hollyweird said? "Thank you..but we are just not looking for this type of material at this time..." lol

i will keep trying though

Well of course the situations must be interesting, but what I meant was the reactions of real people to these situations.
To illustrate:

Theresa has just gone through a nerve-wracking experience:



Can you imagine Sandra Bullock or Julia Roberts reacting like that? Not good for their career personae, you know. Bullock would probably make some witticism and Roberts would not react at all but jump to the next part of the scene. But the way I wrote it is exactly how at least some real 19 year old girls would react.


Bullock could do that scene... Have you seen "The Blind Side"? Although it's likely she would delibratly underact the scene and not cry too much. However one of the only actresses I could in fact see doing that scene as it was written(both age wise and emotion wise) is Keira Knightly, or Natalie Portman.

Knightly, b. 1985, and Portman, b. 1981, don't have the look I envisage for Theresa, and they're too old.

Ellen Page, b. 1987, has the perfect llittle girl next door look, but she's no longer a teenager. Maybe Ellen has a younger sister?

It would not take a great acting talent to play Theresa. The role is of somebody with ordinary emotions, not "exaggerated, mugging" emotions like a stage actor. .
The situations provide more than enough cannon fodder to elicit emotional responses without overdoing it.
Theresa is a very smart girl and this tempers her reactions somewhat. Nevertherless, the situations are sometimes overwhelming and she reverts to a little girl for brief periods. But she soon recovers.
One of the themes of the story is youth trying to understand the world. Theresa says this herself on page one: "My job as a kid was to figure out what the heck was going on and what to do about it. It's not easy when you're young and everything is brand new."
When situations become overwhelming, Theresa temporarily acts like a ten year old girl, ( for the security: you have no responsibilities at age 10 ) but she snaps out of it.

Perhaps the only way an actress can play a teenager is to actually be a teenager herself and not act at all !

I know what you mean. Most of the "kids" in GLEE look like they're old enough to be picking up their own kids from high school in a minivan out in the school parking lot.

_________________
Norman
...that is the regret of a lot of old people when they look back and realize too late what might have been.
This was what President Martin regretted. He thought he was doing something good. It was a disaster. How can anybody know what is the right thing to do?
-- Theresa

THE BASIS OF COURAGE

I've had a lot of setbacks in this life, but my sister says, "You had an interesting life." I guess she's right.

Why do soldiers go off to war and risk their lives? Because they believe in their country, freedom, and justice? Sure. But is that all?

A World War II British spy went into Nazi Germany again and again and again. Asked why he took such risks he said, "It's not how long you live, old boy, but how you live that counts."

So here's Theresa on that airplane, less than two hours from arriving at New York. She doesn't know whether she'll land it or crash it......................

_________________
Norman
...that is the regret of a lot of old people when they look back and realize too late what might have been.
This was what President Martin regretted. He thought he was doing something good. It was a disaster. How can anybody know what is the right thing to do?
-- Theresa

In the catholic.com forum there is a thread called ……….
"Hunger Games" a "Catholic novel"?

http://forums.catholic.com/showthread.p ... ost9785267

The OP points out that author Suzanne Collins is a Catholic. Does that make her Hunger Games books Catholic?

This is an interesting question difficult to answer.

Post #5 in the thread has forum member LaMusicaSenior giving a thorough analysis of Katniss’s personality as evidenced by her behaviors in the story. She noted: Very "interesting - our youth group just discussed this!"
But she did not say whether she thought Hunger Games was Catholic.

I answered as follows:



Is Empress Theresa a Catholic book?

In chapter one, ten year old Theresa tells her priest about HAL, the only person she tells. She trusts him, and while at this age she doesn’t think philosophically, it’s clear that the Church already has some influence on her.

Later, it becomes clearer she is constantly aware that God is in charge of the world and herself. When at age 18 she is being taken out to the South Atlantic to be killed, she considers:


Just before getting out of the jet fighter to face “certain death” she says one last prayer: “Father, forgive me for all my sins. Take me into your house forever.”

Later, she becomes angry with God because she has to take over the Boeing 747 alone, but hours later she tells her husband God told her, “Look what you’ve done. You can do anything. Don’t let people down.” Of course she didn’t hear God’s voice. She felt it in her heart.

_________________
Norman
...that is the regret of a lot of old people when they look back and realize too late what might have been.
This was what President Martin regretted. He thought he was doing something good. It was a disaster. How can anybody know what is the right thing to do?
-- Theresa

Amen to that!

_________________
Norman
...that is the regret of a lot of old people when they look back and realize too late what might have been.
This was what President Martin regretted. He thought he was doing something good. It was a disaster. How can anybody know what is the right thing to do?
-- Theresa

There's a thread on the catholic.com forums called "So you want to write a Catholic novel"
People wrote posts suggesting having an outline before writing the story, or having a schedule of writing 300 words a day etc.

I posted the following........................

So you have an outline of the book you intend to write? Here's another way.

Far from having an outline before it was written, Empress Theresa started out as a story about a girl with problems, but in the final young adult version Theresa says on page one:
“I should say something about myself. I didn’t come from a dysfunctional family, or have drug, boy, or mental problems. There are girls like me, you know. You wouldn’t think so to look at the news. I find it strange that people are interested in news about troubled girls, but wouldn’t want to associate with them.“

I was interested in the Nancy Kerrigan/Tonya Harding Olympic figure skating scandal of 1994. I started thinking. What if there was some guy who could read minds, could prove it, and convinced reporters that the figure skater was innocent of involvement in the attack after all? That might be interesting. But I didn’t believe in mind reading and rejected that idea.

I decided the story should focus on the girl and rejected the mind reading male too.

Then I thought people wouldn’t relate to an Olympic figure skater and turned Theresa into an average girl, a cashier at Wal-Mart or a waitress, who had been wronged by somebody and wanted to get revenge.

To get revenge Theresa had a special power: she had psychokinesis, the ability to move objects around with her mind, like the girl in Steve King’s Carrie. But I didn’t believe in psychokinesis and threw that out. But I held on to the revenge angle for a while.

Now, she had special powers because an alien from space associated itself with her and did things for her as she wished. But I don’t believe we will be visited by aliens and rejected this idea.

Then I thought the alien might not be someone or something from another civilization, but rather a natural phenomenon, something not alive but controllable. Now there was an interesting idea!

Then I saw that having Theresa use this entity to get revenge was no good. The Count of Monte Cristo had taken care of that theme. Dumas used the unlikely scenario of the young man finding a fabulous treasure in a cave and using his wealth to get revenge. Yeah, well, do readers actually like the Count? I rejected the revenge angle.

Then I thought Theresa would use the alien entity to make herself rich. But this didn’t seem to be something people could relate to. The popular TV show Rosanne suddenly lost its viewership when the struggling Huskstables won the lottery. The viewers weren’t interesting in watching nouveau riche millionaires.

Then I thought Theresa would use the alien entity to do good things in the world and enhance her prestige.

At this point some writers might have been satisfied. “Troubled girl acquires powers and uses them to redeem herself at last.” That’s ok. But I wanted something more than that. I wanted Theresa to be untroubled, a perfectly normal girl-next-door, who wanted nothing for herself, but overcame great challenges to do good in the world. Revenge or anything like that had no place in this story.

There remained the problems of explaining what the alien entity was and how he functioned, of how Theresa got control of him, what challenges she would meet and how she overcame them. This all took many years.

I rejected a hundred ideas. For example: I thought that a Russian submarine might pick her up out of the South Atlantic, take her to Moscow where she’d be put into prison. She’d be “put on the threadmill”, kept awake for days, to make her talk about HAL. Using the powers HAL gives her, she escapes prison. She walks East across the entire length of Russia, to the Bering Straits where she steals a small boat and makes it to Alaska. Along the way she has many adventures. There’s at least a hundred good pages in there. But except for showing Theresa’s never give up attitude it doesn’t tell the reader much about her personality. I threw out the whole Russian episode.

Once she gets control of HAL, she does many good things with him. The story is not just one story dragged out to four hundred pages. There are many stories. One situation is resolved and another begins.

Why spend so much time to write the story? I could see that a million woman would throw rotten eggs at me if I didn’t make the most of this girl. “What! Are you saying the most important woman hero of all time had [ CHOOSE ONE OR MORE: sex problems, drug problems, mental problems, insecurities, a foul mouth, emotional instability, plain Jane looks, cowardice, insensitivity, etc etc etc ] ? You couldn’t give us a better woman hero than that?”

I wanted to write a story about a character, who doesn’t come from a dysfunctional family, didn’t live on the street, was not molested or abused sexually or otherwise, didn’t have mental illness, didn’t take drugs or drink, didn’t fall in with the wrong crowd, makes no noticeable moral or social mistakes, never gets in trouble, doesn’t have unrealistic dreams, is not an opera star, actress, high priced real estate agent, politician, FBI agent, millionaire, reporter, doctor, lawyer, or anything at all but a college student, but is beautiful, intelligent, from a comfortable middle class neighborhood, has some religious belief, lives in a small Massachusetts city, and who despite all these deficiencies in the usual plot devices actually turns out to be a hero!


Theresa is a Catholic. Why? If I'm successful in getting readers interested in Theresa, they will want to know everything about her including her religious beliefs.
There are no Catholic principles or doctrine in the book. She is simply identified as a Catholic and little more is said. But, she gives a good Catholic example.

_________________
Norman
...that is the regret of a lot of old people when they look back and realize too late what might have been.
This was what President Martin regretted. He thought he was doing something good. It was a disaster. How can anybody know what is the right thing to do?
-- Theresa

From that atheist website:




This is the four hundreth time somebody on this forum has tried to ridicule Theresa as a "mary sue".

It seems that authors have become reluctant to include female characters in their stories because they'll be a accused of making a Mary Sue.

This wikipedia article has an interesting observation:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Sue



So you only want male heroes? That's ridiculous.

_________________
Norman
...that is the regret of a lot of old people when they look back and realize too late what might have been.
This was what President Martin regretted. He thought he was doing something good. It was a disaster. How can anybody know what is the right thing to do?
-- Theresa

Also from that atheist forum ( see my last post about "Mary Sue" )

Krisyork wrote:
Quote:


Well, that's a very interesting observation, Krisyork. It's the first time I've found an interesting observation on this forum.

I have to contest the part about Theresa dismissing problems with a flick of her hand, though. Not only does Theresa solve them only with great difficulty, she doesn't even know whether she can do it. In fact, for many problems, she can't find the solution alone. Her physics major husband Steve comes up with the bright idea, although only Theresa gets credit because only she can implement them. But that's an aside.

Prime Minister Blair has just told Theresa about the impending disaster, the stopping of the wind everywhere which will reduce rain so much the world will starve to death................

Quote:



Theresa says nothing could have prepared her for the challenge. Is she right?

She's only half right. Nothing from the outside could have prepared her, but she already has what it takes inside.

So it is with every person. Do we have what it takes inside us?

I could say much more, but you get the idea. Theresa is fascinating because of what kind of character she is, which leads to how the story plays out.

_________________
Norman
...that is the regret of a lot of old people when they look back and realize too late what might have been.
This was what President Martin regretted. He thought he was doing something good. It was a disaster. How can anybody know what is the right thing to do?
-- Theresa

There is a thread in the Coffee and Doughnut section called "Hamas military chief assassinated in Gaza strike".

One small part of it is that I contend the Arab countries "need" Israel because they don't want Iran to get the atom bomb, and only Israel seems willing to stop it.

Situations are sometimes more complicated than they appear on the surface.

In Empress Theresa, Theresa has achieved limitless power. OPEC has reinvigorated itself and now tries to get power by blackmailing Theresa. They will stop shipments of oil to the U.S. and Europe unless three demands are met. Two of them she can ignore, but the third one is that Israel be returned to the occupants of 1947, that is, the Palestinians who are not named in the story.

Of course, Theresa cannot tolerate the threat of an oil embargo, and finds a new super-abundant source of oil. But when OPEC finds out what she's doing there will be the devil to pay. Israel's enemies will be engaged and swarm over Israel.

An official from Saudi Arabia suggests a one-on-one meeting with Theresa in Geneva. He doesn't say what the meeting will be about.

Theresa realizes the Saudi official thinks the situation has gone too far and he's going to Geneva to get "something", anything, to calm things down and save face.

Theresa walks into the meeting and makes some points.
1. she says she knows the Saudi officials can't control the terrorists. They even attack his own country.
2. in that case, she proposes they not even talk about the oil situation
3. since she has enormous powers she can give OPEC countries something without any consideration of the oil supply question. That is, she won't yield to their demands, but still offer them a carrot to prevent a military/governmental attack on Israel.
4. she points out that the Middle East is hot, dry desert because the land is flat. In contrast, Italy, France, Switzerland, Austria, and Germany have wonderful, mild climates because of the Alps. She says that if there is no attack on Israel ( by governments ) she will raise mountains all over the Middle East to give it a milder climate something like Southern Europe.
"That's my offer take it or leave it."

She walks out of the meeting to rejoin Prime Minister Blair and others waiting outside.......



One of two things will result: either there will be no attack on Israel and Theresa will raise the mountains, or there will be an attack on Israel and Theresa will sink somebody's real estate below sea level.

One of two things will happen in this Gaza Strip fiasco: either the Arab world will put so much pressure on Israel that Iran will get the bomb which is disastrous for everybody,
or the Arabs will let the Hamas/Israel situation play out without interference and the Iranian bomb could be prevented.

_________________
Norman
...that is the regret of a lot of old people when they look back and realize too late what might have been.
This was what President Martin regretted. He thought he was doing something good. It was a disaster. How can anybody know what is the right thing to do?
-- Theresa

There is a thread about the question, why did the devil tempt Eve first?
Early in Empress Theresa, a government representative named Jan Struthers visits ten year old Theresa and asks her about the alien entity………………


HAL was the computer in the movie that killed most of the astronauts.
In chapter five, the world is faced with imminent global starvation. The only hope is Theresa, who might have some influence on HAL. She wakes up in a London hospital, still not knowing of the threatening world disaster. British Prime Minister Blair is there. He tells her she was “dead” for two weeks……………
.”
Hours later, at the end of the critical Sunday night meeting with the Prime Minister on television, Theresa has guessed that Blair meant by saying she was the right kind of person to do “what’s needed”…………


Like the devil, HAL is very tempting. He will give Theresa immense powers. What person could resist using them? “only” a person such as Theresa, a good person with no significant personality flaws, who has no ego problems, who will leave the world order alone and let people lead their own lives.

Prime Minister Blair’s gamble in letting Theresa tackle HAL alone pays off.
She leaves the world alone. Eve messed up. Theresa doesn’t.

_________________
Norman
...that is the regret of a lot of old people when they look back and realize too late what might have been.
This was what President Martin regretted. He thought he was doing something good. It was a disaster. How can anybody know what is the right thing to do?
-- Theresa

From an exchange on writing.forum:



When I wrote that paragraph, I was thinking about the Polly Klaas case:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Polly_Klaas


The wikipedia article left out a few details:
12 year old Polly Klaas and her two friends were in a second story bedroom, and her parents were home.
Yes, you read that right!

( I remember the sentencing hearing. The criminal Davis read a statement. He quoted Polly as telling him, "Please don't do me like my father does."
An obvious lie. It caused bedlam in the courtroom. Davis's lawyers later came up to Polly's father and apologized: "We didn't know he'd say that."
Davis was a fine piece of work, hunh? )

If Theresa had a babysitter, how safe is that? The babysitter could be overwhelmed too and neighbors would be unaware.

The system I described wouldn't work in an isolated house out in the woods, or an inner city ghetto where everybody keeps their doors locked and mind their own business,
but Theresa's house is on a quiet street with thirty homes occupied mostly by young families who know each other well.

UPDATE !!!

The system can be improved.

Besides the siren, each neighbor's home has a similar system. Everybody has a device that flashes the child's name and exact location. So all the children on the street are constantly protected. Shut-ins and old people living alone can also be included in the system.

The whole neighborhood is on guard for emergencies.
It would work in a neighborhood like Theresa's.

We're on to something!

Why didn't somebody think of this before?

_________________
Norman
...that is the regret of a lot of old people when they look back and realize too late what might have been.
This was what President Martin regretted. He thought he was doing something good. It was a disaster. How can anybody know what is the right thing to do?
-- Theresa

This business of finding a literary agent seems to take forever
and I'm worried that if I drop dead tomorrow the book will be
lost forever. So today I began to put Empress Theresa on Amazon
KINDLE. At least it will be out there and my relatives can keep it alive.

There must be somebody out there who has used KINDLE.

I'd appreciate any comments.

_________________
Norman
...that is the regret of a lot of old people when they look back and realize too late what might have been.
This was what President Martin regretted. He thought he was doing something good. It was a disaster. How can anybody know what is the right thing to do?
-- Theresa

What is the meaning of the green smiley in the column to the left of the thread title?

_________________
David L (CA)
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.” - Groucho Marx

I don't see a green smiley on my computer.

I may have unknowingly dragged it over from catholic.com forums when I copied something here,
but my computer doesn't have the software to run it.

_________________
Norman
...that is the regret of a lot of old people when they look back and realize too late what might have been.
This was what President Martin regretted. He thought he was doing something good. It was a disaster. How can anybody know what is the right thing to do?
-- Theresa

He's talking about in the thread list. Only appears if you Search, including Active, Unread, new, or Your Posts.

_________________
Jeff Stevens