Catholic Online Forum

I was wondering about this yesterday. My beloved sister sent me a text message asking me to pray for something which appeared to be a laundry list of requests for "things".

Now, I seem to remember years and years ago being told (and I am fairly sure my sister was sitting right next to me at the time!) that praying with a shopping list is likely to end in disappointment. You need to pray for God's will to be done. He knows what is the right thing at the right time, and it will happen that way, one way or another.

To my mind prayer is a way of lifting up our troubles and despairs and needs and intentions and asking God to "take the strain" if you will.

Am I off beam here, or is this your understanding as well? What has been your experience of how to pray?

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Best Wishes,

Clare Rickett

"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort"
Herm Albright 1876-1944

Clare,

I will confess to being much older than you, but I was catechised in the U.K. by good lay teachers and the Jesuits.

I am not sure if this counts as prayer, but I often find myself, singing in my mind an old hymn that I learned over 60 years ago, or a prayer I learned that long ago. Then I wonder why? Would it be impertinent to think that the Holy Spirit is working within me. Oh and sometimes I find myself chastising God in my mind, is that Satan at work? I am a great believer in informal prayer, so I have little time for "laundry lists". They tend to imerge in the Confessional

Peter

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"Lord to whom shall I go? Thou hast the words of eternal life"

Peter... what a great point there. And yes, I have found that as well.

Mind you, I am pretty sure my sister only goes to Mass when she is forced to (ie Mum is visiting her or there is some occasion) and I doubt she has gone to confession in decades. I am trying to find a way to tell her the error of her ways without coming across as a sanctimonious twerp or the conversation deteriorating into a slanging match of some kind or other. You would have thought that with one of us in her 40's and the other one swiftly approaching it, we would have worked out a way of dealing with one another, but no. Not yet!

Thank you for your reply, and I am interested in others opinions too!

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Best Wishes,

Clare Rickett

"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort"
Herm Albright 1876-1944

Very rarely do I have laundry lists. Rather, I pray for genuine needs and for the strength to do good. And so I pray often for the following:

That I am productive on my job.
That I have a job that provides the means to take care of my family.
That we have the financial means to meet our needs.
For protection for my family from evil and for strength to not give in to temptation.
For the strength to meet the challenges of the day in a Christian manner.

There may be special intentions for the needs of others, but never a specific list of "I want this job" or "Give me this thing." Those concerns may be in the back of my mind, but the prayer is always directed toward asking God to see me or my family or a friend (or an enemy) through the difficulties encountered, according to God's will, never asking God for a specific outcome.

Probably half my prayer is devoted to petitions such as the above, a recognition that it is from God that we do receive our daily bread. The other half is simply contemplation on God.

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Dean
Most people's sense of history goes back to breakfast time - Benjamin Netanyahu

Too much of my praying is seeking forgiveness!

And much of the rest is in thanksgiving and asking for God's help in becoming the person He created me to be.

I rarely ask for more material blessings because I already have much more than I deserve.

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In Christ,

Jim B

I will consider your position if stated with firm, well-thought-out, quiet reasoning. Hateful diatribe, ad hominem attacks and shouted rhetoric don't impress.

Interestingly enough, right after I posted the above, I received this photo on Facebook.



It seems to me that such an attitude is a good thing to pray for!

Serendipity?

God does work in mysterious ways!

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In Christ,

Jim B

I will consider your position if stated with firm, well-thought-out, quiet reasoning. Hateful diatribe, ad hominem attacks and shouted rhetoric don't impress.

Interesting Question.

I am not much of a formula pray..er, while I do occasionally join in a corporate prayer like a group Rosary, it is rare that I will pray the Rosary privately.

My prayer tends to be conversations with God. Mostly about my family's health, needs and safety maybe some concerns I am having. About other person's needs and special intentions, the prayer requests here on the Forum, and so on. The members of our Armed Forces going in Harm's way. And always that I ask to accept his will.

Long ago my wife and I came to realize we could not possibly remember all the things we are asked to pray for so we placed a small wicker basket in the house by one of our Icon's and we write down the prayer requests and pray for the requests in the basket.

While I was still out and about working on a daily basis I would stop on the way home weather permitting, and pray at our little outside chapel at the parish, it was a wind down for me, I would talk my day over with God the good parts and the bad parts, ask for help with the bad parts and give thanks for the good parts.

I think it is always important to remember that God answers all prayers, but sometimes the answer is NO!

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Bob C

Clare,

In prayer I talk to God and His Mother. In the morning I ask them for the graces to help me and my loved ones live and accept God's will for us and in the night share with them my troubles and joys. If I were in your shoes -- and I have been and am in it every now and then -- I would pray that your sister comes to know Him more and joyfully submits to His will for all her intentions.

Father knows best and what we often want and demand fall far short of what is actually good for us. We can have and submit a laundry list, but the Creator is the only One who knows how is creation functions best.

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Ian DC
Blessed Ever Virgin Mary -- Sanctuary and resting-place of the Blessed Trinity where God dwells in greater and more divine splendour than anywhere else in the universe

Clare,

Yes, I think that is a good way of putting it. I've read that prayer is not so much us asking God for things as it is us getting our hearts more in line with what He wills. A few thoughts...

I came to Christ through Protestant Bible studies/prayer groups. Certain people there seemed to teach/model a kind of prayer where it seemed like they believed that you had to cover every single thing, cover every base. I mean long lists of every possible thing that you didn't want to happen had to be prayed against, and every specific thing you did want had to be mentioned. This was quite anxiety-producing for me. I suspect it was bad theology, too.

Now I more often simply pray, "Lord, please bless this person" or "Lord, please touch this person/situation that Your will may be done." In the beginning, I sometimes felt like I was being.... mmmm.... lazy or remiss doing it that way, if that makes sense, but now I believe that it's okay.

I once did the St. Andrew Christmas Novena for something I really wanted to happen for another person. And it didn't happen. So that kind of put me off novenas. Stupid, I know, but I'm just telling you the truth here.

I pray a Rosary daily (every once in a while I switch to the Divine Mercy Chaplet). I have various experiences with that, somedays I get a sort of altered consciousness similar to TM, other times my thoughts are very rambunctious, and I end up praying, "Jesus, forgive me, this is really bothering me, please help me with this." Often I substitute the name of a person or "me" for "us sinners" and I'm mostly praying about ultimate salvation. I sometimes think God doesn't really care about anything else, and that actually He doesn't care about removing pain in our lives anyway. Oh, I have recently started praying for a good wife for our youngest. That to me is an eternal sort of thing.

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Grace

As to the past, let us entrust it to God's mercy, the future to Divine Providence. Our task is to live holy the present moment. - Saint Gianna Molla

Besides the regular prayers where I ask for nothing I also add prayers or Novenas and ask for a certain something. For instance I can do a novena and ask for a cure or for someone to find a job.
I know in the back of my mind that God will do what is best even if it is not a "yes" to my prayer.

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In Christ
Kim, M



"....abstinence and chastity, dispose man very much to the perfection of intellectual operation.” St Thomas Aquinas

I believe we are called to pray for one another and so I always pray for others in the intentions here and on the faith sub forum of the mood disorders group I belong to as well as Facebook. For myself, I pray that I will have the strength to face the day, that I will have the strength to live with whatever limitations my illness gives me and most of all, to pray that I can accept God's will. I do pray for my own intentions while always remembering to pray that I can accept God's will in all of it. God said to pray for what we need but I remember that what I think I need and what He think I need may be very different things.

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Valerie Garcia
vals1990@yahoo.com

"Listen, O my son, to the precepts of thy master, and incline the ear of thy heart, and cheerfully receive and faithfully execute the admonitions of thy loving Father, that by the toil of obedience thou mayest return to Him ....." St. Benedict

I see much trust here and goodness in the Forum members. For most people prayer is a very private thing and this sharing is refreshing and shows caring and humility. When I learn of a prayer request I say a prayer immediately as intentions are often good but memory and devotion fade fast. I say little prayers the whole day. I find that saying the Divine Chaplet brings peace to me and I know it is a powerful prayer. Praying the Divine Office especially night prayer grounds me and makes me a nicer person to be around. (Maybe you can tell when I forget to say it). Just kidding. I may not agree with some other members views here and we may have sandpaper effect with each other at times, but when someone here asks for prayer that's what I do although I do not always mention it. After all, we are a family of sorts here. I feel a kindred love for everyone here and have great respect for all. We are called to help each other and though separated by miles we have much to offer each other and others who lurk or visit. Sometimes it is a short simple prayer, sometimes Leccio Divina, sometimes a devoted sincere prayer, but praying for others helps me greatly. When I get down on my knees I learn two things. One, there is a God. Two, it's not me.

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Pax et Bonum


Schultzz

I pray with a "laundry list asking for things" and with formula prayers learned from childhood which I find particularly helpful in my old age and decrepitude. I do not always have the ability to tell God what I want to tell Him in my own words, so I rely on the Holy Spirit to help shape my prayers in ways acceptable to Him. Like the Our Father, Hail Mary, and Glory be.

First I thank God for His presence. Then I do the Morning Offering to the Sacred Heart learned from when I was in high school. Then the Fatima prayer of adoration: "O my God, I believe, I adore, I hope in You, and I love you, etc." Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory be. Then I thank Him for the things on my laundry list - Thank Him ahead of time, as the Franciscan Fr. Solanus advises, according to his biography.

My laundry list: for my family, for those posted in the COL Prayer Request section, for the sick (I mention them by name), for the dying (especially babies who are to be aborted this day), for priests, for the unemployed, the hungry, the homeless, for couples having problems in their marriages, for parents having problems with their children, for those who find no meaning in their lives, for the souls in Purgatory. Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory be...

On my after-midnight watch at Eucharistic adoration, I join the Church in praying Matins and Lauds (these are not personal prayers. These are official prayers of the Church, so when I read them, I'm conscious that they're not me or about me.)

I also pray the Act of Contrition before each Eucharistic watch. On a two-hour watch, I am able to pray the Rosary as well - for the Blessed Mother's intentions. I know she wants us to pray for sinners, and since I don't know which sinners to pray for, I just leave five decades of the Rosary in her hands and it's up for her to apply them to whoever. Amen.

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Pax et bonum,
Marie

JMJ

Well said, Schultzz.

You know, when I read this, it occurred to me that I had a possibly different understanding of "laundry list" from what Clare and others did. I was thinking of a "shopping list" of material wants... so I'm sorry if I came off a bit insensitively above.

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Grace

As to the past, let us entrust it to God's mercy, the future to Divine Providence. Our task is to live holy the present moment. - Saint Gianna Molla

Really? I don't regard my personal prayer as particularly private or have any difficulty or discomfort sharing how I pray with others. Maybe I'm strange.

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Jeff Stevens

Is it the method of prayer or the content of prayer that Schultz thinks is private? I have no problem sharing my methodology, but perhaps some of my conversations with God are meant to be just between the two of us.

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Bob C

Schultzzkopf wrote:



Love this!

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Daisy Martin

A long time ago I read something called "Your Hand in Prayer" and basically you use your fingers to remind yourself for whom you are praying.

Thumb - pray for those closest to you. I always pray for the salvation and sanctification of my family, friends, and godchildren. Name each one.

Index finger - pray for those in teaching, guiding and healing positions - those that teach the Catholic faith, the intentions of our pope, bishop, and priest, and for doctors and nurses to uphold life, especially against abortion and euthanasia.

Middle finger - pray for governments and armed forces, in particular I pray laws will be passed to outlaw abortion (and that society will have come to a point nobody will ever request abortion) and for the safety of all soldiers and that their families can hold up under the pressures that come with belonging to a military family.

Ring finger - this is your weakest finger - ask any piano teacher. Pray for the sick, hungry, dying, lonely, and homeless.

Baby finger - you can finally pray for your personal needs after you've looked after everyone else.


I'm sure you could add or change intentions as needed but this version reflects what is going on in my life.

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Daisy Martin

Bob:

Of course it is the former (methodology), that is usually very personal and the latter is usually quite private.

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Pax et Bonum


Schultzz

Thanks for your comment Jeff,

I believe that how you pray is usually a very personal thing. I admire you for your openness about how you pray. Just because we may have different ways of formulating our thoughts doesn't indicate that we are more strange than anyone else. Everyone has their gifts and everyone has their defects. It is what we do with each of these that matter most.

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Pax et Bonum


Schultzz

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Pax et Bonum


Schultzz

Very nice Daisy, never heard that before.

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Bob C