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Well, I have an issue with my dad. He won't change his glasses even though he can't see well while driving. My mom and I keep on insisting he get a new prescription to no avail. He stubbornly resists any change. This has been going on for years already. I finally got fed up and threw his glasses away without telling him, hoping he will finally get new ones. Now everyone thinks he lost his glasses, and I feel guilty about it. Was it wrong of me to do that? My thinking was not out of malice but so it will be safer for us and others driving when he gets new glasses, and also to stop all the arguments my mom and dad have about this issue. So far he hasn't gotten new ones yet and I am still waiting for him to do so.

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Ronald Li Sam

Drive him to the eye doctor's

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Bob C

Don't beat yourself up. I would keep quiet about what you did and offer to drive him to the eye doctor. He might just go since he really needs new glasses. I wouldn't discuss it with your family since it might make an already tense situation worse.

I can't say 100% if what you did was right or wrong, but I know that sometimes things like that are necessary to keep people safe. I know people who have disconnected the gasline to the stove or lost keys or even moved a car out of the driveway to get past situations with confused elderly relatives. It depends on the person and their safety. And the safety of others, too.

Our state has had an eye test to get/renew driver's licenses for a long time. My husband almost did not get his license renewed this year since he has put off going to the eye doctor for over two years, he was right on the border line of pass/fail the vision test. And yes, he has scheduled an eye exam, our eye doc has a long waiting list to get in.

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Judas was the first to leave mass early

Ronald,

My mother was impossible to deal with when she stubbornly insisted that she could drive despite suffering from macular degeneration. Ultimately, we could insist she stop and pointed out to her that she could kill a child....some one just like one of her grandbabies. We were fully prepared to simply take the car from her forcibly. The point being that I feel your pain.

However, I think what you did was wrong because it was underhanded and tricky. If the family sitting down and telling him that he had no choice but to get new glasses can't change his mind then something more forceful would have to be done but it should be done openly. Ultimately, they are still adults and everything should be aboveboard. I would threaten that I'll have his eye doctor inform the state that he cannot see well enough to drive with his current prescription and refuses another....I don't know it would do anything to the state but perhaps it's enough of a threat.

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Valerie Garcia
vals1990@yahoo.com

"Listen, O my son, to the precepts of thy master, and incline the ear of thy heart, and cheerfully receive and faithfully execute the admonitions of thy loving Father, that by the toil of obedience thou mayest return to Him ....." St. Benedict

Ronald,
Even though what you did was tricky, you did it for good reason. I mean, ya could've hid the car!!
Your dad was being irresponsible and it obviously was the only way to possibly save lives and his life. I wouldn't feel guilty. I don't think there was much else that could be done with him being obstinate and all the bickering going on.
My dad's eyes were getting bad and we had to take the car away! He was going to drive come hell or high water. He needed eye surgery before he could drive again yet he drove anyway.
His feelings were totally hurt over this. So, IMO, it would've been easier if it were a pair of glasses being thrown away. I'd relax. Drive him to the eye doc and he'll be very happy in the long run and so will everyone else!

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http://www.frontlineconservatives.com

If God leads you to it...He will lead you through it!
Linda Marie Ann

In some states responsible parties can get the DMV to call a driver in for a check in such cases without their revealing who blew the whistle.

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- Joe Kelley

Death is only a shadow across the path to Heaven.

There are things we don't know about the situation and it might not be wise to post too much information online.

I do not think throwing away the glasses would always be wrong.

I'm assuming this is an older and he doesn't want to lose his independence in driving. It may or may not be a correctable vision problem. There might be other problems not just vision. He may be stubborn or he may have a illness (diagnosed or not) that could occlude his judgment and he might not really understand the seriousness of the situation. Maybe he is worried that his eye problems are more serious than needing new glasses, but doesn't know for sure.

I don't want these questions answered online about this man, but it's food for thought. After working with older folks for over 15 yrs I've seen different scenarios when it comes to driving.

Some people are realistic and understand their limitations, some understand and don't really care and some are not capable due to illnesses to really understand. If someone is truly not capable of understanding my opinion is that you do what is best to resolve the situation, telling as much truth as you can. Or maybe today you don't tell the whole truth, but eventually you can if they can handle it. I am speaking of people who really are not able to understand due to illnesses it's a balancing act to give them respect, but lay down the law at the same time. I know this from professional and personal sides of my life. That's a whole different topic.

Back to the subject at hand. Get him to the eye doctor and see if the vision can be corrected. New glasses might do the trick or maybe he has cataracts and surgery will do the trick, etc it can be resolved easily. It's still hard for me to believe there's not a vision test for driving. We've had one here a long time and it sure would help to resolve problems like this both on the personal side with a loved one who is driving with poor vision and on the side of safety for anyone out on the streets.

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Judas was the first to leave mass early