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Hello all, I hope you have been well. I believe we have waited out the month long moratorium on the topic of divorce! Yet, sadly, during that time another friend of mine is being divorced by his wife of 14 years and four children. The reasoning... she is unhappy and prays to God who tells her it is okay. The kids will be better off because she will be a better mom because she will be happy.

Catholic, wife, mother of several children, author, and founder of website Mary's Advocates Mrs. Bai MacFalane recently posted a commentary published by Spero News about this topic.

Just wanted to share some of it and get some response...

The actual Canon Law on separation of spouses specifies that no one with a Catholic marriage can seek a civil divorce without first establishing in the Church arena that there is a morally legitimate reason for the separation of spouses. Separation decrees can only be obtained that are not contrary to divine law (canon 1692). Notations on Canon Law, from the University of Navarra, explain that this canon exists because divorce laws in many countries are immoral. (3)

Rather than following the Canon Law on separation of spouses, the U.S. tribunals, instead, require civil divorce which encourages divorce. Dioceses use the divorce as proof that the annulment process should go forward. On the diocese of Phoenix website, they teach "A civil divorce is a definitive separation of the spouse and serves as an indicator that the marriage and the common life have, for all intents and purposes, ceased.” (4)

I find the comment on the Phoenix diocese website to be sad. Anybody else? Really, a civil divorce now has the power to make a marriage "cease?"

Mrs. MacFarlane continues...

The ultimate authority in the Catholic Church is critical of the nearly-automatic annulment mentality. The evidence of this critique is the decisions of the Roman Rota Tribunal overturning cases appealed to it, and the yearly addresses of the Popes to the Tribunal of the Roman Rota which are instructive to the Universal Church.

She concludes...

But so long as the U.S. Catholic leadership continues to disregard its own Canon Law on separation of spouses, I do not foresee any justice for abandoned spouses and innocent children. Nor do I see marriage being strengthened. Adulterers and abandoners are not being motivated by the Church to restore their marriages, and the grace of the Sacrament is being disregarded.

The pervasive annulment mentality in the Catholic Church in America strongly undermines marriage.

I am curious as to how some of you see the bishops, priests or people working in the diocese in your area standing up for people like Mrs. MacFarlane who are abandoned by their spouses?

A recent study found that a separation or divorce of a child's parents will take an average of 5 years off of that child's life. I hope that we are not so blind that we cannot see this as abusive. How are bishops, priests or people working in the diocese in your area standing up for children who are victims of this?

Bryan

LOVE SO AMAZING

Bryan, I think you're on to something, that divorce is a scourge that devsatates lives. Is it abuse? I tend to think it probably is. If we are basing our arguments that homosexual "marriage" cannot be approved by the state in part because every child has a right to a two-parent heterosexual family, why is divorce tolerated as it is? Anyone who has known parents who are divorced knows the difficulty and confusion they experience.

That said, I would caution you on one point.


Respectfully, it is a serious issue to accurately represent what the local church is saying. The comment on the Phoenix diocese web site does not state what you claim it does. The statement, you will note, says that "civil divorce...serves as an indicator that the marriage [has]...ceased." As you well know, civil divorce does not have the power to make a marriage "cease". So does the Diocese of Phoenix, and their web site does not claim otherwise.

_________________
Jeff Stevens

Bryan,

Please provide sources for all the alleged statements that you have made.

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Bob C

I myself see evil being given a free ride under the penumbra of "privacy", "its none of my business", and those are "personal matters".

In other words, shut up. Much the same happened when the abuse crisis began rearing it ugly head.

What is so private about matters involved in a marriage celebrated in the Church that such LEGITIMATE matters such as divorce must be hidden? The light, the light.

Be not afraid of the light.

The problem is the darkness. Sin likes it and takes full advantage.

_________________
Daniel

"Do you think that I have come to establish peace on the earth? No, I tell you, but rather division." -- Luke 12:51

Hello Bob C., hope you are well. I quoted several statements from Mrs. MacFarlane. Are those the statements you would like sources for?

I really only made one statement (other than I think it is sad when a Catholic Diocese's website indicates that a marriage has "for all intents and purposes, ceased" after a civil divorce...)

This statement should be sourced though, thanks...



This was taken from a lifesitenews website story...

“The courts are at last recognizing the truth that separation/divorce is an act of selfishness on behalf of parents (actually the deserter) and is an act of child abuse. Reducing a child’s life span by an average of 5 years is a measurable consequence of such selfishness, but the poisonous and devastating effect that it has on a child’s daily existence and their life potential and outcomes can never be measured.”

The results of Mr. Friedman and Ms. Martin’s research are published in a book titled “The Longevity Project” and provide some sobering insights.

“Parental divorce during childhood emerged as the single strongest predictor of early death in adulthood,” the authors said.

I'll try to also post some support for Mrs. Macfarlane's statements. Her story and sources can be found on the Spero News Site.

Bryan

LOVE SO AMAZING

Hey Jeff, thank you. Maybe we will just have to agree to disagree on this point. I do not really think that a civil divorce even "serves as an indicator" that the marriage has "ceased."

Nothing can "serve as an indicator" that the marriage has ceased because the marriage cannot cease. What God joins together, we cannot put asunder.

Anyway, thanks for the kind words and for noticing how "every child has a right to a two-parent heterosexual family" is ignored when discussing divorce. That is a good point that I hadn't thought of. It is easier to preach truth against homosexual marriage when only approximately 3% of the population is homosexual. It is much more difficult when such a large percent is divorced and many are "remarried."

Bryan

LOVE SO AMAZING

Hello again Bob, just providing the support for Mrs. Macfarlane's first statement and then I will stop posting for tonight so people don't get too upset with me for posting too much...

Chapter II Cases Concerning the Separation of Spouses of Spouses.

Can. 1692 -- § 1. Unless lawfully provided otherwise in particular places, the personal separation of baptized spouses can be decided by a decree of the diocesan Bishop or by the judgment of a judge in accordance with the following canons.

§ 2. Where the ecclesiastical decision does not provide civil effects, or if it is foreseen that there will be a civil judgment not contrary to the divine law, the Bishop of the diocese in which the spouses are living can, in the light of their particular circumstances, give them permission to approach the civil courts.

I don't really like to put all this Canon Law stuff in, however, because then people see it as "law" rather than "love."

But truly, in a divorce culture, there should be this protection. For the unhappy spouse will be so very tempted to seek happiness through civil divorce and forcing separation on the other spouse and children. It just makes sense that a Catholic husband or wife, if truly seeking to obey the Lord, would want to be sure that they are doing the right thing and go to the bishop for guidance and approval.

The problem, in my opinion, however, is that in our individualized, moral relativized culture I believe that I am doing the right thing by divorcing because I believe it is the right thing for me. Because I believe it is the right thing for me, then I create a god who must be okay with it. Because I believe it is the right thing for me and makes me "happy" then others who want me to be "happy" will surround me and tell me that I am not sinning and should approach Holy Communion.

Few recognize the objective Truth that divorce (as defined in our Catechism) is a "grave sin" and a civil divorce is a gravely sinful action unless it is not "contrary to devine law."

Anyway, enough of my babbling, but it does make sense to have this step (seeking permission from the bishop prior to separating) in place (assuming our bishops do not practice what the Holy Father has so brilliantly described as "false charity" in these cases). I have talked to several priests, however, and none of them have heard about it. Even my local priest who is very faithful and studied some canon law.

Has anybody actually heard of somebody who did love the Church and Truth enough to desire to seek permission from the bishop before separating??

Bryan

LOVE SO AMAZING

Bryan,

Mrs. MacFalane is not entirely correct.



And my commentary states that adultery is recognized as the only legitimate ground for a permanent separation, meaning that a spouse who has been cheated on is not required to return to conjugal life (meaning life in common, not just sexual intercourse). The separation may be immediate and without ecclesiastical authority, although a formal separation is to be initiated before the competent ecclesiastical authority within 6 months according to §3. However, because this separation is a right , the ecclesiastical authority cannot refuse the petition, unless the exceptions in §2 (narrowly interpreted) apply. The requirement for petition is so that the judge can attempt to pursuade the innocent spouse to forgive the adulterous spouse and resume common life. The wording in the English translation is the ecclesiastical authority "is to consider carefully whether the innocent spouse can be moved to forgive the fault and not to prolong the separation permanently." This does not mean the judge can order the innocent spouse to forgive and resume conjugal life with the adulterous spouse.

In addition, there is Canon 1153 §1:



Therefore, spouses can leave on their own authority before a decree from an ecclesiastical judge is asked for and/or obtained.

The wording on the Phoenix site is not accurate. A divorce decree in the civil forum certainly serves as an indicator that conjugal life has ended. It does not indicate a marriage, in the sense of the bond, has ceased.

I would bet that most dioceses do not even have a process or a tribunal setup to handle petitions for separation. It's why priests haven't even heard of this. So then what?

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Dean
Most people's sense of history goes back to breakfast time - Benjamin Netanyahu