Catholic Online Forum

My wife and I have been growing apart in our marriage. I feel like I have been drifting away from God, not understanding His path for me and my marriage. Are there any prayers for me to re-establish my way with God, my way for myself, and our way in our struggling marriage?

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Joe C

Hi jcat,

I don't know of particular prayers for this situation, but I'm sure others will suggest some.

Also, someone will mention we have a COL forum custom of signing our posts with a regular name- it doesn't have to be your actual name. I think it is mostly an idea, that we speak and listen better in such an exchange, than in one that feels anonymous.

I will just say this: it is very common for married partners to feel themselves drifting apart, and along with many others I've been through this, and I can think of no words to express strongly enough that it is so necessary, so worth while, so essential- to work hard to come together again. In letting momentum carry you apart, there is an ocean of regret.

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Charles MacKenzie

"For nature is one with rapine, a harm no preacher can heal;
The Mayfly is torn by the swallow, the sparrow spear'd by the shrike,
And the whole little wood where I sit is a world of plunder and prey."
-Tennyson

I would recommend Marriage Encounter or if the issues are serious Retrovilla (sp?), of course speaking with a Priest is always a good idea.

On an official note, I need to ask you to sign your posts IAW the Forum Rules.

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Bob C

Bob,
When you refer to Retrovilla, what exactly is that?

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Joe C

Try Retrovaille. The link to their site is here.

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Dean
Most people's sense of history goes back to breakfast time - Benjamin Netanyahu

I knew someone would spell it right.

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Bob C

LOL! Not quite. It's Retrouvaille. At least I got the link down!

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Dean
Most people's sense of history goes back to breakfast time - Benjamin Netanyahu

"Retrovilla"

Sounds like a new entry in the field of home-improvement shows - probably would specialize in projects where they undo previous 'improvement' efforts (like ugly siding or cheap replacement windows) and restore the house in a manner more faithful to the original design.

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Rob

Okay,Okay. Joe's not going to be impressed with the comedy act.

Joe, seriously Retro (how ever it is spelt) is a serious program that works well. I had some family members go through it with great success.

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Bob C

In all seriousness, yes, I have heard excellent things about this marriage program.

And - I think Dean has it right with "Retrouvaille".

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Rob

No, the humor is fine. I need some laughter from time to time.

The Retrouvaille may be a tough sell for my wife. She has converted to catholicism. She has not wanted to discuss details of married life with a priest. So she may feel that it is an attempt for me to corner her.

I did go to the web site to get information on this type of program. I think it would be helpful.

Would anyone share their experiences of the program or expand on the programs message?

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Joe C

Thank you for all the information.

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Joe C

I think the program is Catholic.

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Mary-Love

Jesus, I trust in You.

The program is Catholic, and well worth it. It literally saved my marriage from divorce. I highly recommend it.

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Rich

Romans 13:1-4

Hi Joe,

I'm wondering if your wife is particularly reticent to speak about things with a priest because, well, "What does a celibate priest know about marriage?" While I do believe that our priests can identify with those sorts of problems, I thought I'd ask whether there was a married deacon in your parish to whom you could talk. Sometimes they are more approachable, especially regarding family matters.

There are two other suggestions I want to give you. The first is to go back to the start and court your wife all over again. Set aside date nights. Take her out for dinner. Buy her flowers. All that sort of stuff. Remind yourself - and her - just how much you love this woman. And take heart, because love isn't all about feelings anyway, but about commitment - which you clearly still have.

The second suggestion is to try and find time to pray together regularly. "The family that prays together stays together." Okay, so it's cliché, but it's also true. Also, well, your prayer life will be directly helping your marriage, and your marriage will be directly helping your prayer life. Even if you can only manage five minutes a day, try and spend that little bit of time praying together - it will have a huge impact.

Regarding personal prayer life, start small. I don't know what your routine has been, but if you're starting from nothing maybe make a resolution to read a couple of verses of Scripture every day during Advent, or say an Our Father every morning.





CAVEAT: I'm not married so probably have no idea what I'm talking about... but I'm drawing on my observation of the most successful marriages amongst my friends.

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Jules Xx


What will become of sinners?

Jules and Rich,

You do realize that this thread had been inactive for a year-and-a-half before Rich posted?

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David L (CA)
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.” - Groucho Marx

Oops, no! I usually check the date of last post, but not the first.

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Jules Xx


What will become of sinners?