Catholic Online Forum

MODERATOR'S COMMENT

I let this thread stay on the board when I read it this morning, and I had some doubts then. Those doubts are now compounded by what I am reading.

What we have here is a person unknown to any of us, discussing the Alleged Sins of another person, who is not here to give her side of the story, we don't do that here.

Jesus Christ is about forgiveness and redemption. Let's remember that.

Should the gentleman marry this girl, I have no idea that's his call; I am more concerned with his reaction about putting this story on the Internet for the whole world to see, I wonder what she would feel about that?

I understand the disappointment and pain, but there is another party to this as well. Let's consider that too. I am removing the original post and the responses to it.

To the original poster if you wish to discuss your future marriage and trust issues feel free to repost, but no gory details and respect the feelings of your fiance.

BobC
COL: Staff

Having seen the original post, I agree with Bob that there were bits that were inappropriate. I think that a certain amount of the general story might be reposted without trouble, but it could quickly get out of hand.

I will give my opinion of a hypothetical couple with a story like that. I worry about the readiness of either party. I would suggest that both parties get counselling, over and above the standard premarital counselling the Church provides.

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Rose West
"May God help us not to spoil His work" (Bl. Mother Theresa)

Was wondering where you were.

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Pax et Bonum


Schultzz

I'm sorry,

I was hurt, it was late, and I needed someone to talk to.

I'll go somewhere else.

Zach,

Not necessary, but people get hurt forever when private matters are aired publically. Discussions can occur without details.

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Bob C

Please get counselling. Maybe start with your priest. Share the deep details with someone you know you can trust, who can get to know you personally and offer some true advice. Meanwhile, I know that many of us here said a prayer as we read your first post. We're hoping for you to have the best possible outcome.

Bob is trying to protect you. We've had more than one occasion where a person comes here to vent about their personal problems and then it gets back to other people that they had been here and what had been said. The damage that can do is never quite fixed.

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Rose West
"May God help us not to spoil His work" (Bl. Mother Theresa)

Zach,

You are invited to hang around and learn and get support in the form of prayer.

One other issue that was not mentioned. It is sinful to disclose the faults of another to those who have no reasonable need to know. I understand completely your hurt, as I have gone through similar pain as a younger man. However, you must be careful to take the high moral ground and not sin in your attempt to deal with your pain.

May the Wisdom of God guide you in your decisions.

Dean C.
COL Forum Staff

Thanks,

I have already shared with my fiance that I had posted our problems publicly and she has encouraged me to talk with someone in private about it all. I apologize again for using this forum as an immediate relief to my pain without considering more closely the people I involved. We both thank you for your protection and concern. We are taking some time and sorting out the mess. This was my first time ever using a internet forum and as you have seen, I was inappropriate due to my lack of experience. I hope there was not to much harm that came of this mishap.

Please keep us in your prayers and may we see His face,
alias Zacheus

Zachaeus,

Thank you for your understanding. Please continue to visit and participate here. It is a good place to share wisdom and to gain it.

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Dean
Most people's sense of history goes back to breakfast time - Benjamin Netanyahu

I would invite you to stick around here, Zacheus. Explore the various theads. I think you will find many things that will enrich your experience -- wisdom, compassion, humor (or as our beloved Canadian and British members say "humour" ), compassion, friendly conversation and much more. This is one of the favorite of my haunts in my dotage!

And don't let Pilgrim's Winchester scare you off. Bear hid his bullets long ago!

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In Christ,

Jim B

I will consider your position if stated with firm, well-thought-out, quiet reasoning. Hateful diatribe, ad hominem attacks and shouted rhetoric don't impress.

I forgot to add:

I have done that!

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In Christ,

Jim B

I will consider your position if stated with firm, well-thought-out, quiet reasoning. Hateful diatribe, ad hominem attacks and shouted rhetoric don't impress.