Catholic Online Forum

I was having a discussion with a Catholic coworker today. We were talking about adultery. He said it's an unforgivable sin. I can certainly understand it would be unforgettable but at some point one must forgive even if the couple separates or divorces. Right?

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Daisy Martin

Unforgiveable to whom? There is no sin which cannot be forgiven by God in confession with a priest, with true contrition, etc. Regarding the person affected, I guess it depends on them whether they can forgive.

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Andrew McAllister

Respect for the dignity of every innocent human being from conception/fertilization, without exception, without compromise, without apology.

Indeed. As Andrew says, any sin can be forgiven, both by God and by men (with God's grace). Does that mean the couple stays together? Not necessarily; while divorce of a valid marriage is not possible, separation is sometimes necessary in some situations, such as an abusive spouse.

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Jeff Stevens

You are correct, insofar as we're discussing what the Church teaches. We must always do our best to forgive when others hurt us. People get into situations they know they shouldn't get into, but there's always a way to come back to the friendship of God.

OTOH, this person might have been speaking from his own experience and hurt, and it wouldn't be worth getting into an argument. My response would be to nod and agree that it would certainly be very difficult to forgive someone for doing that.

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Rose West
"May God help us not to spoil His work" (Bl. Mother Theresa)

I once had a priest tell me that the only sin he had never given absolution for was suicide.

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Bob C

Bob C,

A priest speaking of confession to our RCIA class said, "believe me, there is no sin I haven't heard" and I raised my hand, which he was reluctant to recognize (because knew me) and I said "suicide" which caused the class to laugh but him to groan.

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Valerie Garcia
vals1990@yahoo.com

"Listen, O my son, to the precepts of thy master, and incline the ear of thy heart, and cheerfully receive and faithfully execute the admonitions of thy loving Father, that by the toil of obedience thou mayest return to Him ....." St. Benedict

In my opinion...

An incident of adultery is quite a traumatic event that is cause for suffering for both spouses and the marriage.

Adultery it is not a politically correct or civilly observed trauma -it as well seems a trauma no longer worthy of social condemnation, government prevention and or laws against or penalizing it. Much similar to for instance other politically incorrect traumatic events like divorce and abortion it has been swept under the rug publicly; however, privately it still represents and embodies a traumatic event individually and societally that has created many that suffer from what is commonly termed PTSD used when discussing the politically correct traumas.

I would suggest that forgiving would be first and perhaps relatively the easiest part of the equation for one intent upon healing -coping and restoring what was damaged as a result would be the hardest part of the equation especially when considering there is scarce support socially for those that seek such. Sadly the oft quoted advice given to these poor souls is "move on" -in essence, sacrifice rather than heal your spirit and instead embrace material diversions.

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Daniel

"Do you think that I have come to establish peace on the earth? No, I tell you, but rather division." -- Luke 12:51

Daniel - I never thought of describing post-adultery trauma as PTSD but you have a point there.

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Daisy Martin

The Bible frequently uses adultery and prostitution as a metaphor to describe Israel's worshipping of false gods. Yet we know God has repeatedly forgiven those who came back to him and abandoned their idols.

In Canon Law, the victimized spouse of one who has committed adultery has the right to sever common conjugal life (although the bond of marriage remains intact).



Therefore, although the Church recommends earnestly that forgiveness prevail, adultery is serious enough that the victimized, innocent spouse is permitted to separate.

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Dean
Most people's sense of history goes back to breakfast time - Benjamin Netanyahu