Catholic Online Forum

Hi All,

St. Paul as said that a widow can very well marry instead of her burning with passion.

I just want to know what can a young married woman do if her husband shows no interest in her, avoid her when she gets close to him.
It could be the husband finds his wife unattractive though he is not seeing any other woman. He satisfy himself watching lots of pornography.
The wife has waited enough. She is from a conservative background and can't talk to her husband about her desire nor can she walk out of the marriage.She is also a human with natural longing for her husband's attention.Now the girl is also seeking the help of pornography or image herself to be with her husband. Though she feels guilty, she feels helpless.

What would St. Paul say for a young girl like her!

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Julia Joseph
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"Are you crying because you want to do God's will or because you want God to do your will?"
Confessor to St. Frances of Rome

Julia,

We can't say what St. Paul would advise. But we can say that the woman should try to find a faithful Catholic priest and/or a faithful Catholic marriage counselor. Divorce / remarriage isn't an option and divorce / declaration of nullity / remarriage isn't a sure thing by any means, not to mention it is also a very painful route. Other ideas might be given here, but the Internet is not a good way for someone to figure out solutions to such very personal problems. And so the help of a faithful Catholic professional should be sought first.

My prayers for this woman and her husband...

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Dean
Most people's sense of history goes back to breakfast time - Benjamin Netanyahu

Julia,

I'm no expert on this, but as I understand it is not uncommon for ladies who are pregnant to fear that their husband has lost interest in them sexually. They are almost always mistaken.

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James Daly

"It is the Lord." (Jn 21:7)

Please pray for me and my husband!!!

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Julia Joseph
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"Are you crying because you want to do God's will or because you want God to do your will?"
Confessor to St. Frances of Rome

My advice is to tell your friend,

"Try to find a way to communicate directly with your husband. Wait for the right time perhaps an intimate occasion, maybe after a good meal at home when you can have some privacy. Part of your problem has to do with you. You cannot put it all on your husband. Pornography is one of the greatest insults we can make to God in light of His precious gift of procreation. It can lead to addiction because it mostly occurs within the imagination and the imagination can be very difficult to compete with. Pornography also insults the other spouse. Try to find out what the problem is. It might be with you and your "conservative" attitude. You CAN speak to your husband re: your desires without it being a lustful conversation."

I agree with Dean's advice too but I wanted you to have something you could tell her which might offer some immediate help.

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Pax et Bonum


Schultzz

Julia,

Praying for both of you. I'm sure things will change in a few months.

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James Daly

"It is the Lord." (Jn 21:7)

Avoid the pornography!

You seem all alone -understand that families are the core building block of society AND there is a reason for this.

I suggest you employ and take advantage of the family -find another trusted male, trusted by both husband and wife, that would be or is considered an authoritative, respected, and trusted voice of reason (Priest, male relative, father, brother, etcetera) that could intervene and counsel the husband in the error of his ways.

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Daniel

"Do you think that I have come to establish peace on the earth? No, I tell you, but rather division." -- Luke 12:51

Thanks for people who prayed for me and for good people's advice.
I dont want to believe that your prayers weren't heard because its such a wonderful gesture to prayer for other and specially people you have not meet.

Not much of a change has happened since my last posting. I have only learn to accept this 'celibacy' life, taking it as my fate or God's wish. What else can I say.

Thanks again to all who is praying for me

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Julia Joseph
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"Are you crying because you want to do God's will or because you want God to do your will?"
Confessor to St. Frances of Rome

If you have chosen to be chaste, I believe you are doing the right thing. St Paul does say that there is a time for chasteness within marriage as long as both agree but should come together soon so as to avoid immorality.

You must speak with your husband and perhaps a priest. While it is difficult, he is your huband. Hopefully you have enough trust in him to be able to speak with him of such matters as it is important.

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Kim Cates